


Wait For Me ( I'll Wait A Thousand Years)

by Denstort



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 24,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3474074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denstort/pseuds/Denstort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt runs again....he needs time......time to know if he ever had feelings for Dom.</p><p>Part 3 of "I Belong To You" Series</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jan's new bartender isn't and won't be what she expected.....

Wait for me, he said  
For I must find my true self  
Find what my heart desires  
Will you wait for me?

I will wait for you, I call to the heavens  
And pray that you hear my voice  
If I have to wait a thousand years  
I will wait and every night call to the stars  
That you hear my voice  
Wait for me, he said  
And I will wait a thousand years and a thousand more.

***********************************

 

“Right, that’s it, he’s late again. Jacey, put that sign in the window.”

“Jan, where are you going to find an experienced bartender by putting a wanted sign in the window. It took you three months to find Rick.”

“I don’t care, he’s taking the Michael. If I have to train someone, I will. Hell, I’ll take the first person that walks in and asks. When Rick finally shows his face, tell I want him and his stuff out of the apartment and him gone before I come in tonight.”

The next day, Jan was busy putting out new stock, when someone cleared their throat. She turned and standing at the bar was a man with a shock of red hair and really intense blue eyes.

“Can I help you?” she said.

“Actually, I can help you,” the man said. “Whoever deals with your stock is skimming you. That bourbon has been watered down. Taste it if you don’t believe me.”

For some reason she did just that…Rick, the bastard.

“You a bartender?”

“No, but I know my way round a bar,” the man replied. “ I saw the sign in the window.”

“Show me what you know,” she said.

She was impressed as the man made various drinks, and she studied him as he did.

He was British…well the accent kind of gave that away. He wasn’t tall, but his frame went with his fine features and his pale skin. He wasn’t a  
tourist, or he wouldn’t be asking for a job. But he wasn’t homeless either, judging by his clothes, although not new, they were clean and neat.

“Good enough?” the man said, raising an eyebrow.

“You willing to learn?” she replied.

The man nodded.

“Then I’m Jan Stevens, I own this place. And you are?”

“Matthew Bellamy.”

“Well, Matthew Bellamy, you alright to start tonight?”

“Sure, and its Matt.”

“In that case Matt, I just need your work visa and bank account details.”

Matt nodded and took a backpack off his shoulder and began rummaging in it.

Jan watched as various bits and piece were placed on the bar, and she smiled when he began muttering something about black holes being  
easier to find something in…she liked him already.

“Ha!” Matt suddenly shouted and produced a smaller bag, then handed her two documents and what looked like a letter of some sort.

She glanced at the documents; they seemed in order, then she opened the letter.

“My health insurance details,” Matt said, and she noted that he sounded nervous. 

“I had an accident last year, there was some…..damage. If you don’t want to hire me, then I’ll understand.”

Jan held up her hand. She wasn’t going to ask what sort of damage, she could see a patch of hair that wasn’t as well grown as the rest, and  
could guess what sort of damage, and that he had a slight limp when he moved.

But, he seemed genuine and she had a pretty good feel for people.

“Why wouldn’t I hire you?”

“I can get a little mouthy sometimes.”

“No problem, you need that here at times.”

“I mean really mouthy.”

“Like I said, you need that here sometimes, and my staff have thick skins, so there’ll be no offense taken.”

She could see the relief on his face.

“The job comes with an apartment, if you need it. I’m afraid you’ll be tossed in at the deep end, its Friday night and its music night…hence the need to be mouthy sometimes. Let me show the apartment.”

*********************

“How the hell is that even possible. His face has been all over the news and they think he’s not in the country anymore!?”

“They did say that someone resembling Matt was seen leaving JFK airport.”

“That was two bloody weeks ago, and they’re only just telling us!”

“Dom, Matt is an adult, they can’t just stop him because he did a runner,” Chris said.

Dom was angry and stressed.

He was angry at the police, anyone who’d had the chance to find and stop Matt, but he was angry with Matt, so bloody angry.  
Why had he run again? Why couldn’t he stay and talk? 

He would have given Matt his space, all the bloody time in the world. He was angry that Matt hadn’t told anyone about his memory loss. How much had he forgotten, or was it just what had happened between them?

He slumped into a chair and put his head in his hands; this was like reliving those six months again.

He felt Chris’s arm round his shoulders.

“He ran Chris, why did he do that? We could have helped him…I could’ve helped him.”

“Dom, you know what Matt is like, how he hates confrontation. He said wait for me, that means he’ll be back.”

“What if he doesn’t…what if something happens….what if he’s happy wherever he is?”

“Enough,” Chris said. “He won’t be able to stay away, the band is his life, the music, and hell, you’re his life.”

Dom looked up then.

“How can you be sure?”

“Mate, I’ve watched you two dance around each other for bloody twenty years. That crazy little twat lives and breathes for your approval. Haven’t you noticed it’s always you he comes to when he has a new song or music? How if you didn’t like it, he scraps it or changes it?”

“He asks you as well.”

“Yeah, but only when he already knows it’s good enough. But it’s you he really listens to…not me, or a producer, you. So, he will come back, but we’ll still keep looking for him, and just so you know, I am going to kick his arse when he finally shows his mug.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Dom about to loose Matt to someone else................

Precious and fragile things,

Need special handling,

My God what have we done to you,

We always tried to share,

The tenderest of care,

Now look what we’ve put you through,

Precious- Depeche Mode

 

Matt sighed and looked round at the apartment. What the hell are you doing, Bellamy?

It’s not like you need to work, and the money he would earn would be going straight into the Helen Foundation’s account.

So why the hell was he taking the risk of being recognised?

He’d kept moving since he’d left JFK airport, and was now in a different state and city. Perhaps he was craving company, hitchhiking was by its nature a solitary and lonely thing.

When Dom had kissed him, he’d hoped it would spark his memory, but all he felt was confusion. He’d panicked and ran to his room.

Then he’d made a decision, one that he knew would hurt everyone, but he had to do it. He needed time to think, and for that he need space…distance between the things that were making him confused; he needed to know who and what he was…was he gay or was he straight?

He’s waited until the house was quiet and had slipped into Dom’s room and left a letter. Then he picked up his backpack and was gone.

As he walked away from his friends he took out his mobile and rang a number he thought he’d never ring.

“Hey, Danny, its Mattie…yeah, long time. Danny, I need a huge favour…and your particular skills."

Now he was trying his best to shop for clothes he hadn’t expected to need, and try not to be notice; not exactly easy with the red hair, but hindsight as they say.

He looked at himself in the mirror, how anyone could think him attractive. He was too skinny and he tried not to look at the ugly scar that ran down one leg, a reminder of the accident that had caused his brain damage.

He scowled and quickly tried the clothes on, then paid for them. He scurried out of the shop, when the girl at the till looked at him way too closely.

He decided to go down into the bar early, primarily to get a feel of the bar, and to see if the kitchen was open; he hadn’t eaten today.

He found the owner Jan and another person.

“Ah, here he is, my new bartender. Matthew, this is Jace, she runs the kitchen.”

The woman shook his hand and her eyes narrowed.

“You look familiar. You look a bit like that guy in that band, you know, the one that went missing for six months. Was all over the news last month.”

Matt laughed, “I get that a lot. I think it’s the hair and the fact that I’m a short-arse like him. Having the same name doesn’t help either…but no, not him.”

“Oh well, never mind,” Jan said. “We’re about to have dinner, you hungry?”

*****************

Dom flinched as Chris kicked the waste basket, and it flew across the room.

“Bloody bastards,” he growled. “All they care about is the sodding money. Never mind that Matt is going through god knows what, it’s all is the album finished and when is he coming back?”

Dom rarely saw Chris angry…but when it came to Matt, his protective streak seemed to go into over-drive.

Although Chris was the youngest in the band, he always saw Matt as his little brother, and the first time Dom had seen that protective streak, it had scared him. They had been in a night-club, celebrating their first big gig, when some bloke thought Matt was his and had tried to drag him out of the club.

Matt was way too drunk to know what danger he was in, but Chris had seen it and had waded in, shoving the man away and grabbing Matt and dragging him back to their table.

He’d then proceeded to glare at anyone that looked at Matt the wrong way…oh yes, protective alright…well, so were most people that knew Matt.

“No wonder Matt hates dealing with the suits,” Dom said.

“Yeah, well you’ll hate them even more. They want to contact the police in the State and have them find him and drag him back.”

Dom blinked…what?

“That’s low, even for them. He’s not a bloody criminal.”

Dom thought for a few minutes…of course.

“Chris, do you remember Matt’s dodgy flat mate…Danny wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I think he runs with a bad lot still.”

“Well, I know it’s not right, but he must have contacts. If they want to use the law to find Matt, then we’ll use the wrong side of the law and find him ourselves.”

******************

Matt watched as the band that was playing tonight traipsed in, hauling their equipment. He sighed, he remembered doing that. Bloody hell, how many times had he dragged amps and pulled muscles?

He busied himself setting up the bar whilst listening to band tune their instruments. He winced when he heard a wrong tuning, and he itched to grab the guitar and tune it himself. 

He bent over to pick up a crate of beer and nearly dropped it when a voice right behind him said.

“Now there’s a sight to make a guy’s night.”

He put the crate down and whirled round, and was almost nose to shoulder with a stunning looking blond, with intense green eyes. He couldn’t stop the hitch in his breath as the man held out his hand.

“And who are you, lovely?”

Jan’s voice suddenly rang out.

“Lee, down boy, don’t scare the new boy away before he even starts.”

“I only asked who he was. I’m Lee, the resident DJ.”

“Matt, the new barman,” Matt replied and shook the pre-offered hand. He tried not to jump at the spark of static he felt as he did.

Lee smiled at him; he probably felt it too.

“Well, Matt, the new barman. How about you get me a beer and I’ll talk to you later.2”

Matt felt slightly breathless after Lee walked away…there was something about Lee.

He didn’t have time to dwell on it as the bar began to fill up and he and Jan were busy, and he found he was enjoying the hustle and the banter.

The band was good and they even played a MUSE song…The Groove, nice one.

Before he realised, it was soon closing time. He saw Lee approaching and his pulse quickened. 

Lee pushed a piece of paper across the bar and smiled, which did odd things to Matt’s stomach.

“My number, if you’re interested, lovely.”

Matt watched Lee walk away…oh he was interested, very interested.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dom makes a mistake.....

Dom and Chris exchanged nervous glances as Tom talked to Matt’s ‘friend’ and ex-flatmate.

“Yeah…thanks…I know, he can be tricky…yep, got that…you will, that’s great…yeah, any of those numbers…okay...see ya.”

They both looked at him as he rang off.

“He says he would never had helped him if he’d known that Matt was still recovering. He’s calling someone in the States, he says if anyone can find him, it’ll be this person. Then he’ll call us if he gets anything.”

“So, we just sit and wait,” Dom said. “Just great.”

“Dom, you know Matt. If he wants to disappear, he will,” Chris said.

“But what if he has a relapse or something gets to him. He could end up being arrested, in hospital or worse.”

“Dom, you can’t control what happens over there. If that happens then they’ll find out who he is and he’ll be back with us. But you shouldn’t think like that, he’ll be fine. There’s no point us running round the States trying to find him, and it’s bloody late, so I’m going to bed.”

**************

Dom was tired, but he didn’t feel like sleeping. The words in that letter kept running through his head…Matt didn’t remember the things that had happened between them…but he did. The heated encounter in his flat, the way Matt felt when they had danced; even the disastrous event in the hotel.

But it wasn’t the physical things that got to him the most; it was the way Matt smiled when he’d taken him to that restaurant and the way Matt had pleaded for him to stay until he fell asleep…when he’d asked for him when he’d woken up. Surely there must be feelings, all Matt needed was to remember that.

What if Matt never regained those memories, or decided he would never have feelings for him…or god forbid he found and fell for someone else?

He eventually decided to shower and then try and get some sleep. He was in the middle of washing his hair when the phone rang.

“Shit,” he said and groped for a towel, but by the time he got to the phone, it had stopped.

He looked at the screen, but it said the caller left no number…bloody cold caller.

He was dripping all over his floor for nothing, but as he turned away it rang again. Right, whoever was on the end of the call was going to get a bloody mouthful.

He was about launch into a tirade when a voice said.

“Dom?”

He froze for a second before saying.

“Matt…what the hell are you doing, and where the hell are you!?”

There was silence and Dom thought Matt had gone…then.

“I’m somewhere and that’s all you need to know. Don’t come looking for me, I’ll just run again.”

Dom cut across him, “Matt, please, just come back. We can talk about this.”

“Sorry, I can’t…just.”

Then the phone went dead.

“Matt? Matt!?” he yelled...but Matt was gone.

***************

Matt had argued with himself as to whether he should call Dom or not, and twenty minutes later he was still arguing. But now he had a couple of glasses of red inside him, and it gave him the courage to do it.

When the phone hadn’t picked up, he nearly left it, but he found himself dialling again; this time it was answered.

“Dom?” he said.

There was silence and he thought Dom wasn’t going to answer him.

“Matt, what the hell are you doing and where the hell are you!?”

Well, if he was going to shout at him….

“I’m somewhere and that’s all you need to know. Don’t come looking for me, I’ll just run again.”

He listened to Dom plead for him to come back and talk…no, he couldn’t…not just yet.

“Sorry, I can’t…just.”

He lost his courage then and tried not to listen to Dom calling his name.

He couldn’t tell if it was the wine or he was a little annoyed that Dom had demanded answers instead of asking if he was okay…but he did it.

He rummaged in his pocket for the slip of paper and dialled the number.

“Hello?” a voice answered.

“Lee, its Matt.”

“Hello, lovely. So, you are interested?”

“Yeah, can we meet for a drink?”

****************

Dom put the phone down and it was only then that he realised his mistake...he’d shouted at Matt, his anger taking over, when he should have voiced his concern. Matt’s voice at the end had sounded so small.

“Stupid…stupid...you stupid bastard,” he said to himself. “Just shout at him, that’ll help.”

He kicked the door to the bathroom and then sank to the floor…..had he just driven Matt further away? All he could do was hope that Matt would call again.

*****************

Matt stepped into the bar; it was busy and he felt a little uneasy. It wasn’t like he was meeting someone he knew. He looked round the bar and he saw Lee, who spotted him at the same time and waved him over.

He sat down opposite him, his nerves jangling.

“I’m so glad you called me, lovely...let me buy you a drink, and then you can tell me all about yourself.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Dom losing Matt before he even has a chance to make things right ?

Matt stared into his glass, unsure of how to start the conversation. He was saved by Lee speaking first, but it wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to hear.

“First things first, I know exactly who you are. The red hair isn’t the best disguise.”

Matt went to stand, but Lee put a hand up.

“Please, I’m not going to let on, or go on Twitter and say I’m on a date with the singer in MUSE.”

Matt debated with himself, then sat down.

Lee smiled and Matt felt his stomach flutter.

“I have to wonder what you are doing here, do you want to know what I think?”

Matt said nothing, just looked down at his glass.

“I think you’re running.”

Matt looked up then and straight into those green eyes.

“What makes you think I’m running?”

“Oh lovely, your life is fantastic. Most people would kill to have it, so you must be running?” Lee replied.

“You think my life is fantastic? Have you seen the news recently?” he snapped back.

“I’ve seen it, and yeah, it looked like it was crap. But I don’t think that’s why you’re running. Tell me, lovely, is there a special man in your life?”

Matt was once again caught off guard by Lee.

“If there was, would I be here?” he replied, suddenly realising how defensive he sounded.

“Well, that tells me there might be…or are you not sure that you like men?”

Lee suddenly reached out and touched Matt’s hand, and once again he felt a spark of attraction.

“Matthew, I think you are sure. I can feel it and so can you. I can see it. I think you’re just not sure who you’re attracted to.”

Matt looked at Lee’s hand and then back into Lee’s eyes.

“Oh, I know who I’m attracted to.”

*********************

Dom was beginning to feel like life had it in for him. First she had given him all the great times, and yes the bad times.

But she had also given him one diminutive, frantic, paranoid, confusing ball of energy, a presence that had been with him through the good and the bad.

Then for six months he’d thought that she’d taken that presence away from him forever.

Then she’d been kind and that presence came back into his life, and he thought she was going to give him a greater gift…then she’d delivered her sting.

He was definitely beginning to hate life. She was beyond cruel. She had let that presence live but also took something in payment for that; she took what had been the beginnings of something new.

She had taken Matt’s memories of what had gone on between them, and then taken him away once more. Was she going to be cruel again and make sure that Matt never came back?

Every night he scoured social media, in the vain hope that someone had recognised Matt and tweeted or insta-grammed a picture; but it was as barren as his life felt without Matt.

“Where the hell are you?”

That phone call had been a double-edged sword…at least Matt was alive, but he wasn’t coming home either. What hurt the most was that he didn’t want him to look for him; well screw that, he was, whether Matt liked it or not.

Now there was another pressure. The press had started to notice a lack of Matt and some journalists were asking questions. Dom doubted it wouldn’t be long before they put two and two together.

Then it would be like sharks in bloody water; who would pay the biggest reward for finding him. He went cold at the thought of Matt being cornered by a pack of headline hungry press, and with no-one to protect him.

“Please, just come home,” he whispered as he shut off his laptop. He closed his eyes and tried to fight the tears that he knew were coming.

*********************

Matt felt heat pool in his stomach as Lee placed gentle kisses along his jaw. He let out a moan and the hand that wasn’t tangled in Lee’s hair tightened its grip on the material of Lee’s couch.

He let out a whimper when Lee pulled away and went to pull him back, but Lee grabbed his hand.

“I think you should go, before this goes too far.”

Matt blinked and stared at him.

“I don’t want us to do something we might regret in the morning. I don’t want this to be a one night thing. I want to get to know you, but you have to be sure that I’m the right one. Because, lovely, your first time should be with the right person, and I don’t think you know who that is…not yet. Let me walk you back to the bar.”

They walked in silence until they stopped outside the now closed bar. Lee placed a kiss on Matt’s lips.

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, lovely,” he said and walked away.

Matt leant against the door, trying to calm his racing heart. He’d wanted more, but Lee was right.

He sighed and unlocked the door and stepped into the now empty bar.

How had it become so complicated?

He wanted Lee…..wanted to get to know Lee, but he was there, in the back of his mind, with those stormy grey eyes. He climbed the stairs and fell onto the bed, way too tired and confused to think about it.

He could only hope that tomorrow would bring him a bit of clarity.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Dom about to get his chance...........

“So, Matt, you’ll be okay running the whole place tonight?” Jan said.

“Sure,” Matt replied.

“Well, just in case, I’ve hired a few extra doormen, in case it gets rowdy.”

Matt held up his hands, “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine…go, enjoy yourself.”

Even though Matt didn’t say it, he was nervous. The crowd tonight would be full of rock and metal heads, and there was the possibility he might be recognised. It also didn’t help that he could feel a headache coming on….the surgery hadn’t stopped those.

He really liked working here and he didn’t want to move on, and then there was Lee.

They had been on a couple of dates and Lee had kept his word and not pressed for anything more than kissing. Speaking of said person, he walked in, wearing a colour that only one other person dare wear…Dom.

The thought of Dom made him stop in his tracks. He still couldn’t remember what had gone on between them, to make Dom believe it was okay to kiss him. There were flashes of images but there were fuzzy and indecipherable, and it made his head hurt.

He started when Lee took the tray from his hands and guided him to one of the bar stools.

“Another headache?” he asked.

“That and more flashes of….I don’t know what. Plus, I’m getting voices now?”

“I still think you should see a therapist.”

“No, Lee!” he snapped.

“Cranky as well. You should take your pills and get some rest.”

“Can’t, the bar opens in an hour.”

“Matt….” Lee started to say.

“Just leave it, for Christ’s sake!”

Lee held up his hands and left him alone.

He knew he should take his medication. But they left his mind fuzzy and he needed to be clear-headed…so he would have to suffer the headache.

He would apologise to Lee later as the band turned up and he was busy with the bar.

He found himself helping the band set up their gear, and his fingers itched to play as he put one of the guitars on its stand. It was a nice instrument; he liked the design and the colour. He jumped when the bassist and the singer said.

“You play.”

“Yeah…nice finish.”

“Thanks…hey, I know this sound stupid, but you really look like Matt Bellamy …from MUSE.”

Matt just smiled.

“Stupid right, like he’d be working here as a barman. Wouldn’t mind playing a few riffs with him though.”

Matt said nothing…oh how he wished he could.

“Never going to happen,” the bassist said.

Matt did smile then, despite the headache; if only the guy knew.

“We have to sound check, but our lead guitarist is running late. Do you think you could fill in?”

Matt hesitated…then, oh sod it, why not.

“Sure, what are you sound checking with?”

“All Along the Watchtower.”

Matt enjoyed playing, it seemed like an eternity since he’d touched the strings of one of his beloved guitars.

“You’re good, thanks,” the bassist said.

“No problem,” he replied and reluctantly put the guitar back on its stand, and went back to the bar.

Lee was sitting behind it, sorting out his vinyls.

“You enjoyed that….how’s the head?”

“Yeah, I did, and the head’s not too bad.”

He looked at his watch.

“Better open up, before the hordes storm the castle.”

**********************

The bar was now heaving and Matt was kept busy. Then the bassist approached the bar and said above the noise.

“Can I have a word!?”

Matt nodded and let him behind the bar and into the small stockroom at the back.

“Our lead guitarist is a no show. He’s stuck in a huge jam. We were…well, we were wondering, could you fill for him. We have our set list and the sheets for our own songs.”

Matt didn’t know why, but he said yes; it must be the performer in him, shouting to be let loose. He looked at the set list, he knew all of those, even the backing vocals. He just had to remember he wasn’t the front man, and he was pretty certain he could do the other songs, with the sheet in front of him.

He ran his hands through his red locks, stepped onto the stage, picked up the guitar, and he suddenly felt at home. He closed his eyes and let the thrum of the sound system flow through him.

He played the first note of the first riff and he was gone, and it seemed like it was over before it started.

“You were….wow, if you ever wanna…just wow,” the other band members said.

Matt just shook his head and went back to tending the bar. Things were going nicely, until a fight broke out.

He could see the door men were busy with something else, but he also know he couldn’t take on the brawlers either. So he waded his way through the crowd and up to Lee’s spot.

“Turn the music off,” he said.

“Matt, let security deal with it.”

“They’ve got their hands full…just turn it off.”

Lee shrugged and did so.

He took a deep breath, turned the volume on the mike right up, and in his best power voice shouted.

“Oi!”

The electronic squeal of the feedback made everyone wince and all eyes turned to him.

“Right…I don’t care which of you idiots started it, and I don’t want to bloody well know. Everyone’s had a good time, so everybody just calm the fuck down, or so help me I’ll come down there and bite a few ankles.”

A ripple of laughter went through the crowd.

“Right, bar closes in thirty minutes, so either drink up or sod off home.”

The bar gradually emptied, and the band left, thanking him again. As soon as the last member of staff was out of the door, he locked it and leant his head against it; the headache suddenly returning, with blinding vengeance.

He felt a pair of hands and then Lee’s voice.

“Come on lovely, pills and bed for you.”

He didn’t protest, the pain was now making him feel sick.

**********************

“Sleep now,” Lee said, kissing his forehead, before taking his place on the couch in the small living area.

He sighed…Matt didn’t belong in this place, he belonged on that stage…any stage. He looked at the phone in his hand, Matt’s phone. He   
searched his contacts until he found the person he wanted.

“I’m sorry lovely, but it’s for the best, for you anyway.”

“Hello?” the voice on the other end said.

“Is this Dominic Howard?”

“Who wants to know?”

“A friend…of Matthew’s. I know where he is.”

“What…where?”

Lee rattled off the name of the bar and the place it was in, then said.

“I hope you deserve him, Dominic Howard.”

He rang off then, and all he could do was wait now…wait and see if he was about to get his heart broken.

*******************

Chris wasn’t happy that the phone rang during the kids dinner…everybody knew the rules.

He scowled when he saw it was Dom calling; he should know the rules.

“This better be good, Howard,” he growled.

“Chris, get your arse and your passport to Heathrow…I know where Matt is!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Dom made a hasty decision..........

Dom anxiously waited at the gate for Tom and Chris to check in, using the tickets he’d brought on-line. They only just made the flight and it wasn’t until they were settled and airborne that Chris asked.

“Okay, where is he and how the hell do you know?”

“He’s working at a bar and someone who said he’s a friend called. Which means he must have access to Matt’s phone to get my number.”

“Or someone stole his phone and is having you on,” Tom said.

Dom shook his head, “No, it was genuine.”

“How do you know that?” Chris said.

“Because of what they said…they could only say it if they’d talked to Matt.”

“What did this person say?” Tom asked.

“They said they hoped I deserved him. Why would someone who stole a phone say that?”

Chris nodded, but said, “You know, he may not want to see us.”

“I don’t care, he can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep running…it has to stop.”

“Dom,” Chris said. “What did he say in that note? You never told us.”

Dom swallowed, “He said he couldn’t….he couldn’t remember me and him…what went on, you know, before the operation.”

“Oh…oh, “Tom said. “Jesus...”

“What, nothing….the dinner…the fight you had...nothing at all.”

Dom shook his head, “He said he wanted to think about it…but the person who called, it was a bloke. What if Chris….bloody hell, what if he’s fallen for someone else?”

Chris moved over and sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“If he has…then he has. You can’t tell him who he can fall for. But he said wait for him…and then he called you. Sounds like he doesn’t know yet. But I do know you can’t go charging into this place and demand anything from him. Let me or Tom go and see if he is there…let us talk to him first.”

“Yeah, you and he are way too explosive when you’re pissed off at each other. I’ve booked us rooms at a hotel, and one just in case Matt does   
want to come back,” Tom said.

“Dom, this will get sorted, but you know Matt, you push him and he’ll just run again.”

Dom sighed and tried to relax, but he couldn’t. If Matt was there, it was good news, but what if he’d found and fallen for someone else...that thought made his insides curdle. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, but his thoughts were full of one blue-eyed front man.

*******************

Matt hated those bloody pill, he always felt like crap when he woke up. He let out a groan and reached out blindly for his mobile. He frowned when he couldn’t feel it and sat up, blinking sleep heavy eyes.

H spotted it on the other set of drawers…did he put it there?

He stumbled out of bed and looked at the blurry numbers…blimey, he’d been out for fourteen hours; that wasn’t good. He showered and dressed, and as he went downstairs he could smell…was that…oh he hoped so.

The bar wasn’t busy, it was more of a tourist crowd during the day. He nodded at the daytime bartender and wandered into the kitchen. Oh yes, definitely penne arribita.

“Well, good afternoon to you,” Jacey said when she spotted him. “Feeling better?”

“Yes, thanks…is that?” he asked, staring at several large pans.

“It is, you hungry then? Go and sit at our table, I’ll bring it over in a few minutes…and yes, garlic bread to…and a glass of red.”

“Bloody fantastic,” he said, flashing her a grin and wandered back into the bar and sat at what they called ‘their table’.

Funny that, back in the UK the band had a ‘table…he and Dom had a…whoa, that was new. A flash of himself and Dom sitting at a…restaurant table….were they…?”

“Here we go,” Jacey’s voice caused the image to disappear again.

“When you’re done, Jan says can you get a few crates of beer up from the cellar.”

He nodded, finished his meal and headed for the cellar.

He didn’t particularly like the cellar; there was one big ass spider living down there. He’d managed to avoid it so far, and as he entered the cellar he said.

“Okay incy wincy, you know the drill. You don’t drop on me and I don’t introduce you to that alley cat that likes spiders for starters.”

He grabbed a crate of beer and looked up, checking for his eight-legged nemesis, before climbing the steps. He was about to enter the bar when he froze, as a familiar voice said.

“Hello, I was just wondering, is Matt around?”

***********************

Dom had tried to be patient, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He waited until the others were pre-occupied with their rooms and slipped out of the hotel. He wanted to see if Matt really was working at this bar. If he was, he wanted to talk to him…wanted to bring him back home.

He approached the bar, and he had to admit it looked pretty nice. He walked inside, but there was no sign of Matt. He walked over to the bar and asked the bartender if Matt was around.

He heard a noise, a sudden intake of breath from behind the bar. He’d recognise that raspy intake of air anywhere.

“Matt?”

Matt stepped out, he was carrying a crate of beer; so he did work here.

“Matt,” he said again.

“Dominic,” Matt said.

That wasn’t good, Matt rarely, if ever used his full name.

“If you want a drink, Peter here will serve you,” he said.

“Matt, we need to talk.”

“I’m busy, and no we don’t.” Matt replied, putting the crate down on the bar before disappearing through the doorway again.

Dom looked at the man behind the bar.

“Can you let me through…please, he’s my friend.”

The barman looked at him, then nodded, “Okay, but any trouble…”

Dom went through the door that Matt had disappeared through and it lead to a set of steps. He could hear movement and he walked down them.

“Matt?”

The noise stopped but Dom moved into the cellar.

“I know you’re here…please talk to me.”

“Who told you I was here?”

“Not important, please let’s talk.”

“Go away Dom, I told you not to come after me.”

“And you think myself and the others would listen to you?”

“Chris and Tom are here?”

“Yeah, and they’re both worried about you.”

“Well don’t be…just go away.”

Dom moved further into the cellar and found Matt, standing by a stack of crates.

“No, I’m not going away, not this time. We are going to talk.”

“Like hell we are,” Matt snapped and moved.

As he tried to get past him, Dom grabbed Matt’s arm and pulled him back.

Electric blue eyes flashing with anger glared at him.

“Let me go,” Matt growled.

Dom shook his head, “Not until we talk.”

“Let go,” Matt said again, his voice was calm and its tone neutral.

Dom knew that tone; it was a dangerous one, when Matt’s anger was about to go volcanic. But he wasn’t going to let that deter him.

“Why, so you can run again? I never too you for a coward, Matt.”

He saw the muscle twitch along Mat’s jaw, and he braced himself for the eruption. But to his surprise….no shock, instead of anger, there were tears.

“Please Dom…let me go. I can’t…just can’t.”

Any anger that Dom was feeling dissipated with the tears that ran down Matt’s cheeks.

A woman’s voice floated down the steps.

“Matt, is everything alright?”

Moments later the owner of the voice appeared, she was brandishing a very large kitchen knife.

“I’m fine,” Matt said and yanked his arm free of Dom’s grip. “Dominic was just leaving, weren’t you, Dominic?”

Dom nodded and looked at Matt, who didn’t look at him. He passed the woman, who eyed him suspiciously. He climbed the steps and took one more look back.

The woman had her arms round Matt, who Dom could see was shaking with nerves or tears…what had he done…why hadn’t he listened to Chris and Tom.

Fear rose unbidden…fear that when he came back again with Chris and Tom, Matt would be gone.


	7. Chapter 7

“You did what!?” Chris yelled. “You bloody idiot!”

Dom was glad that Tom was standing between himself and Chris, or he was sure the bassist would have decked him.

“You know, I should punch your lights out…but instead I’m going to try and talk to Matt. That’s if he hasn’t already done a runner.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Dom could say, but Chris was already gone.

Dom sat down heavily and hung his head.

“I didn’t mean…I just wanted him to come home. I really buggered this up.”

Tom sat next to him, “You don’t know that, let Chris talk to him. But Dom, you may have to accept that Matt might not want to come back.”

Dom looked up then, “But the band, he wouldn’t. It’s all he ever wanted.”

“Yeah, but that was before the accident and the surgery. He’s changed Dom.”

“No, he might not feel anything for me, but the band…the music, he’d never give that up.”

Tom said nothing and Dom hung his head again.

********************

Sometimes Chris thought, he wondered who was the biggest idiot, Matt or Dom? At this moment it was Dom.

He walked into the bar and there was Matt, but he wasn’t alone. He was in the arms of a blond man.

He cleared his throat and both of them looked over.

Matt detached himself from the blond, but didn’t speak; the blond did.

“Can I help you?”

Chris could hear the ‘whoever you are, keep your distance’ in the man’s voice, but he wasn’t going to be deterred.

“I’d like to talk to Matt, if you don’t mind.”

The blond stepped forward, he was the same size as himself, and moved like he could hold his own.

“And you are?”

“What’s it to you?” Chris answered, his own protective side bubbling up.

Matt finally spoke.

“It’s okay Lee. Gives us a few…yeah?”

The blond turned back and said, “Are you sure?”

Matt nodded.

“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen with Jace.”

The blond moved then and as he walked past Chris, he said.

“The other one, Dominic isn’t it? Tell him to stay, he’s not welcome.”

“Not your place to say that,” Chris answered.

“Lee!” Matt said sharply.

Chris let out a relieved breath when the blond moved again and disappeared through a set of swing doors.

Matt leant against the bar, his arms crossed in a defensive manner.

“What do you want Chris?”

“Just want to talk, and apologise. Dom shouldn’t have come here on his own.”

“No, he shouldn’t have. I told him….told all of you not to come after me.”

“Well tough, we did, so deal with it. Listen Matt, you have to come back.”

He could see Matt tense at that.

“And why should I? Oh…..right, the label want their cash cow back.”

Chris sighed, Matt was going to be difficult.

“The label don’t even know we’re here. If they did, this place would be full of police and press.”

Matt frowned. “Then how……?”

Chris watched as realisation spread over Matt’s face…then anger. 

Matt pushed off of the bar and strode towards the kitchen, and he followed. The look on Matt’s face didn’t bode well; the one thing Matt hated the most was betrayal of his trust.

****************

“You stole my phone!” Matt yelled and advanced on Lee.

Although Lee was twice Matt’s size, it was the larger man that backed away; despite his size, Matt could be very intimidating, and it surprised people that the pint-sized singer was the leader of the whole Muse pack.

Now Lee was getting the full Alpha Matt treatment.

He supposed he should stop it before Matt really got into his stride; but he didn’t. It was obvious there something more than friendship between the two men, and he wasn’t going to interfering a lovers fight; if that’s what they were.

“I don’t give a crap that you stole my phone…but you called Dom, didn’t you? I told you I didn’t want to see and talk to him, and you did it anyway.”

“Matt…” Lee began to say, but Matt spoke over him.

“I t-trusted you,” he said, his voice suddenly very quiet.

Chris knew that quiet tone. Matt had gone beyond angry, and that was dangerous. Please don’t say anything Blondie, he thought, but he did…idiot.

“I did it because I care.”

“Care….care? What, you care so much you make a call behind my back?”

Matt let out a cry of frustration and without warning shoved Lee.

“Every time…every time…not anymore,” Matt said, pulling at his hair.

He shoved Lee again.

“Matt...I….” Lee started to say.

“Don’t mate,” Chris said. “Matt…stop this.”

But Matt wasn’t listening and he shoved Lee again.

“You…stay…away!”

With every word he spat he shoved Lee until he was backed up against a work surface.

“All of you just….just bloody stay away!”

He spun round and shoved past Chris and out of the doors.

The sound of chairs going over was followed by a string of expletives that made Chris wince.

The woman that had been watching in dumbstruck silence went to move towards the door, but Chris said.

“No, let me.”

The woman narrowed her eyes and said.

“Why you?”

“Because, and I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve known Matt for twenty years, and whether he’s Matt’s boyfriend or you’re his friend, I’ve been his friend through all the shit. Plus, pissed off as he is, he knows better than to go for me.”

****************************

Matt had really had enough…Jesus, he’d run to get away from this kind of shit. Now it had all come crashing back. He sank to the floor…why did he bother?

Well, he guessed he shouldn’t have and now his head was killing him…Christ was it hurting. All he wanted to do was find a place where no-one could find him…wanted time to think. He didn’t know where the hell he was, not now that two people had caused him hurt.

One being Dom…who he might have had feelings for; he still couldn’t remember…and Lee, who he was starting to have feelings for. He couldn’t think, the pain in his head making his thoughts fuzzy.

He heard someone approaching….oh no…not talking to anyone. He tried to get up but fell down…what…his legs…why wouldn’t they work?

He heard a voice; it sounded like Chris.

“I’ve got you,” the voice said and he felt himself being lifted and then he passed out.


	8. Chapter 8

Dom wasn’t sure why he was nervous...of course he was nervous as to why Matt was in hospital, but he was also nervous because of his last encounter with Matt. He’d got a call from Chris to get his arse out of the bar and down to the hospital because Matt was in ER. He stopped at reception to ask where Matt was, and as he walked to the place he spotted Chris and Tom. He also saw the woman that had been in the cellar, and a woman he didn’t know.

Then he saw the blond man sitting on the bed, and he was touching Matt. A wave of jealously washed over him; he should be the one touching Matt.

“Dom, finally,” Chris said.

“What happened?” he said and moved up to the bed.

The blond narrowed his eyes, then said, “You, this is your fault.”

Dom stepped back, not prepared for the verbal assault.

“Who the hell are you!?”

“Lee, his boyfriend.”

Dom couldn’t reply…boyfriend…boyfriend?

The blond looked at Chris.

“I said he wasn’t welcome.”

Chris shook his head, “Not my call.”

The blond turned back to Matt, who was watching in wide-eyed confusion.

The blond then said, “Just stay away.”

Now Dom was annoyed, “Don’t think so blondie.”

Their voices had become raised, but then another voice rose over them.

“Just stop, both of you….bloody stop!”

Everybody looked at Matt; who then winced as if in pain and pulled at his hair.

“Out…fucking out!” he virtually screamed.

That attracted the attention of a nurse, who told them to leave or she would call security.

Now Dom found himself in the corridor, standing opposite blondie. They’d been left alone after Chris and a woman called Jan had told them to ‘sort this shit out.’

“So, you’re dating Matt?”

“Yeah…sorry I snapped, worried about Matt.”

Dom found he couldn’t be mad at him, Lee seemed like a nice guy.

“S’okay, Matt has that effect.”

Lee straightened off the wall, “You’re the one he was confused about. I won’t…..”

“Mister Howard, Mister Strachan,” the same nurse’s voice said.

They re-joined Chris and the others as another doctor examined Matt. A few minutes later the doctor exited.

“We’ll be keeping Mister Bellamy overnight, his blood pressure is a little low. Luckily the problem with his leg was   
just a muscle spasm, a side effect of the slight dyspraxia. His headaches are more of a concern, he should consult his own specialist when he returns to the UK.”

“Can we see him?”

“I would prefer that he rest, but Mister Bellamy insists on seeing Mister Howard and Mister Strachan, separately.”

*****************

Matt opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. His vision was blurry and his head still hurt…and the dizziness. He blinked several times to clear his eyes, and sighed when it didn’t.

He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds to ascertain where he was. It sounded like; he took in a breath, it smelt like a hospital….oh right, he remembered now.

He sighed, what to do? No, he knew now. Yes, he knew that someone was going to get hurt, but it had to be done. 

He supposed he’s always known, memory loss or not.

Then his quiet was disturbed by a gaggle of people, except the one person he wanted to see.

He smiled at Lee when he sat on the bed and put a hand on his knee. He endured a telling off by Chris, who then ruffled his hair like he was one of his kids, and a hug from Tom.

Then, there he was, worry and nervousness in those stormy grey eyes.

He expected there to be tension between Lee and Dom, but not the loud exchange, and it hurt his head, and he’d snapped and told them to piss off. He was left alone again, until the specialist came in, and he got another telling off.

Yes, he knew he shouldn’t have travelled….yes, I would like some painkillers, very much so…no, but I want to see…okay…thank you.

*****************

Dom watched through the window of the door as Lee sat with Matt. He wished he could hear what was being said, and once again he felt a twinge of jealousy…even more so when Lee leant in and kissed Matt.

Then Lee was leaving and it was his turn.

He swallowed down his nerves as he walked in and sat in the same spot that Lee had just vacated.

“Matt,” he began to say, but Matt put a finger on his lips.

“No, just listen. I still can’t remember if anything happened between us.”

Dom’s heart started to fall, but soared again when Matt said.

“But I want there to be.”

“Are you sure?”

The smile Matt gave him, that shy but sure smile told him everything.

“I’m sure, but Dom, slowly yeah? I need to sort this out,” he said, hand going to his leg and then his head.

Dom nodded, “Okay, but can I at least take you out and finish that dinner date?”

Matt smiled at him again and nodded.

“That restaurant in New York?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Dom, tell Chris and Tom, I coming home.”


	9. Chapter 9

Matt was nervous, in fact he felt nauseous; he really didn’t want to be sitting in this place ever again. But at least this time he wasn’t alone.

He looked over at the person sitting in the next chair, who was flicking through a magazine.

“You’d think with the money they make, they could at least have the latest issue,” his companion said.

When he didn’t get a reply he looked over at Matt, put the magazine down and said.

“You okay?”

Matt nodded, even though he felt like throwing up.

“Well that’s bullshit, you haven’t said a word since we left the house…so, not okay.”

Matt sighed; he could never fool Dom.

“What if…you know,” he finally said, pointing at his head. “What if the headaches are because of…something else?”

He couldn’t bring himself to say the words…it was something he didn’t want to know. He would suffer anything but that.

Dom put a hand on his arm and said.

“Let’s not jump to any wild conclusion okay.”

“But, what if it is?”

“Stop it!” Dom said sharply. “You are not going to think like that. We wait and see what your consultant says.”

“But…” he started to say when his name was called.

“You want me to come with you?” Dom asked.

He nodded and they both followed the nurse.

They walked out forty-five minutes later with an appointment for an MRI and a chastened Matt, the consultant’s stern words about his behaviour ringing in his ears.

“Right…home, pills and rest,” Dom said.

He scowled…he didn’t think so.

*******************

Dom knew exactly what Matt was thinking when the doctor had told him he should be doing nothing but rest and to ‘take his bloody pills’. 

The weeks in between them coming home and the appointment hadn’t exactly be restful.

They’d be called to the label’s London office and although the suits didn’t exactly say so, they were not happy. This, of course should have be answered by Matt’s standard reply to being told what to do…but Matt had just sat quietly and it was himself and Chris that had told the label where to go.

To Dom that was a sign that despite Matt’s ‘I’m fine’ when asked, that Matt was anything but fine. He’d been staying at Matt’s house to keep him company and not burden Anna with that as well as housework.

He’d heard Matt moving about at night, obviously restless over something…but of course he wouldn’t speak about it, not until he’d found him one morning on the floor of his bathroom repeatedly hitting his head against the tiled wall.

An appointment had hastily been made to see his consultant and now Dom was trying to carry out his instructions, but Matt was being his stubborn self.

“For Christ’s sake Matt, will you leave the music for five bloody minutes!” he snapped as Matt reached for the notepad he wrote lyrics in.

He received the patented Bellamy glare and then the pout when he’d snatched it out of his hand and sat on it.

“Don’t give me the wounded puppy treatment…you know what the doctor said. I’m going to make us some tea, and I swear if you move from that sofa and I hear one note from that piano,” he warned, taking the notebook with him.

He kept his ears open as he made the tea but he heard no sound…finally, Matt was seeing sense. It had worried him when then consultant had said that the headaches should have diminished after the surgery and the low blood pressure was a concern; hence the rest. 

He’d told Matt not to worry, but he was worried. Was life about to deal another cruel blow? How many more times could Matt dodge the Grim Reaper? Could this be the time that he didn’t?

No, he wasn’t going to think like that...think positive thoughts.

He carried the two mugs into the living room to find that Matt had finally fallen asleep. He put the mugs down, took the throw from the back   
of the sofa and covered him. He settled down next to him and realised he had Matt’s lyric book still tucked under his arm.

Should he look at it?

He’d seen Matt with a version of that notebook for years, and yet he’d never seen what was written inside. Perhaps it was a bit like one of   
those magic books you saw in films…read it and any power it has was lost...well Matt always a little bit magical.

Matt stirred and let out a sigh and that thought was forgotten. He sat and watched Matt sleep, getting the rest he needed.

He reached over and carded his fingers through Matt red locks…the shade had always suited him.

Matt stirred again and he murmured, “S’nice,” before his breathing evened out again.

Dom smiled and closed his eyes, letting every other sound besides Matt’s breathing bleed away.

*****************

Why did he feel so cold and tired?

He opened his eyes and found he was somewhere dark…what? 

Then he heard what sounded like claws….he wasn’t alone, something was here with him .Then he heard a voice; it sounded like Dom.

“Matt!” Dom called.

“Dom!” he yelled.

“Matt, where are you!”

“Over here…Dom!”

He froze when he heard a growl. 

He cried out when something grabbed him by his leg and began dragging him…like hell whatever it was that was dragging him was going to eat him. He kicked and squirmed, but whatever it was wouldn’t let go, and whatever energy he had was draining away.

“Dom…help me!” he screamed as whatever it was dragged him. 

He felt and smelt hot fetid breath…he was going to die in some dark place, eaten alive by god knows what.

He let out scream of agony as whatever it was began shaking him, like he was a rag doll…oh god, please let this be over…just kill me.

*******************

Dom was woken suddenly by a smack in the face and Matt calling his name…..he sounded terrified.

He turned to find Matt was twisting like he was trying to get out of someone’s grip. He touched Matt’s shoulder and said his name…but Matt didn’t calm; in fact his movements became more erratic.

Dom put his hands on both shoulders and began to shake him. He almost let go and fell off the sofa when Matt let out a scream…Jesus, what kind of a dream was Matt having…..and why wouldn’t he wake up.

“Matt...Matt!” he called, shaking him even harder. “Come on, Bells!”

Suddenly Matt’s eyes flew open but they were unfocused and were full of terror, and said words that frightened Dom.

“Just kill me….just kill me….please, just kill me.”

“Matt…..Matthew,” Dom said and let out a sigh when Matt blinked and his eyes seemed to clear.

“Dom?” he said and touched Dom’s face, almost like he wanted to make sure that Dom was real.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he said and let out a huff of air as Matt pulled himself to his chest, and he automatically wrapped his arms round him.

“I dreamt…..I thought,” Matt said into his shirt.

“Ssh, it’s just a dream.”

“No, I…” Matt said and pulled himself away, but only far enough to place a hand round the back of Dom’s head and pull him forward and kiss him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt remembers...but not just the good things and something Dom said in the heat of the moment come back and bite him.

Dom wasn’t sure how to react to the kiss after Matt had pulled back. The decision was made for him when his phone went off. He considered ignoring, wanting to see where this moment was going.

“You should answer that,” Matt said, and whatever the moment might have been was gone.

“Yeah….tonight should be fine. It’ll be a distraction.”

He looked over at Matt to find that he had fallen asleep again. He sighed and said goodbye to the person on the end of the phone. He made sure that the throw was covering Matt properly and then went to find something to busy himself with.

He found himself outside the music room...sacred territory and a no-go area to anyone who wasn’t part of Matt’s ‘family’. He hesitated, he hadn’t been in this room since himself and Matt had ‘talked’ about that night in the hotel.

He opened the door and the smell of wood and metallic dust filled his nose…..it smelt like Matt.

The piano may have been the most imposing thing in the room, but Dom knew which one was the most important. It sat on a stand, away   
from the rest of the guitars, held together by gaffer tape and wood glue.

He jumped when Matt said.

“That bloody thing never did die. What did Glen call it?”

“Lazarus.”

Matt let out a small laugh and joined him. He picked the guitar up and placed it on the piano.

Dom watched as Matt ran one set of fingertips over the oft repaired guitar, until he stopped at a certain spot.

“The crack under here is from the first time I threw it.” 

He moved his fingers again and stopped once more.

“This one was from that night in Berlin, when we were way too hungover…and the split there by the fret was done in Vienna. I broke the headstock for the first time at that gig, and Dom A gave me a right bollocking.”

Matt looked at him and Dom could see he was struggling with some internal anguish.

“I remember where and how this got every scratch and crack. I can remember how many time I put a guitar through your drum and how many   
times it went in your direction.”

“Matt,” Dom started to say, wanting to stop him before he spiralled into some dark place….but Matt over-spoke him.

“Why can I remember something that happened over ten years ago, but I can’t remember what happened a few months ago…why Dom?”

Dom didn’t know what to say, so he did what he always did when Matt was troubled; he put his arms round him and held him.

“I want to remember,” Matt said into his chest.

“You will…give it time.”

He felt and heard Matt sigh, so he did the other thing that he always did; he changed the subject…a distraction.

“Chris rang, he and Kelly are coming over. They’re bringing the kids, that okay?”

That did the trick.

*****************

The excited squeals of the younger of the Wolstenholme brood filled the air, as did discordant notes that came from the piano, which was taking abuse from several pairs of hands, including Matt’s.

Chris stood at the door, shaking his head.

“If we did that, can you imagine the strop?”

“And the death glare,” Dom replied.

“How’s he been?” Chris asked.

“Honestly, I think he’s struggling…with the memory loss. The headaches aren’t helping, the pills only take the edge off.”

“Can’t they give him anything stronger?”

“Doc says not until they've done the MRI. The kids are a good distraction.”

They winced at another set of discordant notes.

“Enough!” Chris said over the cacophony. “Dinner.”

Dinner was also a noisy affair, but it was noticeable that Matt was overly quiet, but several attempts to ask him if he was alright ended with them either being ignored or glared at.

Then Ava-Jo asked, when Matt just picked at his dessert, “Don’t you like my cake, Uncle Matt?”

Everybody jumped when Matt snarled.

“Always with the bloody question!”

“Matt,” Chris warned, but Matt kept going.

“Matt, are you okay…Matt, aren’t you hungry….Matt don’t you like my bloody cake!”

His voice had risen in volume and the younger kids were starting to cry.

“Matt, leave now,” Chris rumbled.

“With pleasure,” Matt snarled and left the table and the dining room.

There was a stunned silence, then Ava-Jo said.

“Did I upset him?”

“No, you didn’t,” Chris said. “You know he didn’t mean that.”

She nodded, “The headaches makes him like that.”

“Yes they do, and he’ll come back and apologise. Just leave him for a while.”

********************

“Stupid…stupid...stupid,” Matt said to himself as he stood on the patio. “Always with the stupid questions.”

He rubbed at his temple…sodding headache. He reached into his pocket for his painkillers, not sure whether he should take any more. He hated taking them as they made his head feel fuzzy, and they didn’t work as well as they used to.

He heard the patio door open…great, someone going to give him a bollocking for being rude.

“Matt?” 

It was Dom…wonderful; the one person he really didn’t want to talk to.

“Leave me alone, Dom.”

“Don’t think so. That was downright rude. You’re lucky Chris didn’t deck you. Come back inside and apologise.”

“No, just go away.”

He started to walk away, intending to find a hiding place.

“Oh no you don’t,” Dom said and he felt himself being pulled back and spun round.

“You are not going to run again.”

He looked at Dom’s hand that was clamped on his arm. He blinked as out of nowhere a memory made its presence known.

“I see, so what happened last time wasn’t a one-off. I didn’t think you were an abusive person.”

Dom suddenly let go of his arm, his eyes wide with shock.

“You remember that, of all things, you remember that?”

He looked at Dom, and saw the shock on his face.

“I-I,” he stammered and backed away.

Dom moved forward and took his arm again, but this time his grip was gentle and not restraining.

“If you remember that, then you must remember other things…please say you remember.”

He looked into Dom’s eyes…they looked full of desperate hope.

He frowned…was there…wait…yes….

“You kissed me and I ran.”

He saw Dom smile, relief replacing the desperation he’d seen in those stormy grey eyes.

“Yeah…you idiot, without your coat and your wallet, in the middle of winter.”

“I….sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter…you remember,” Dom said and smiled again. “Please. Come back inside, the others have to know.”

“No…I can’t. I remember…I remember the hotel room. I remember what you said...you don’t trust me.”

He yanked his arm out of Dom’s grip and before Dom had chance to stop him, he was across the grass and out of the side-gate….the words that Dom had said in that hotel room burning in his mind and his heart.


	11. Chapter 11

Dom swore to himself as he ran after Matt…of all the memories that needed to come back, it had to be that one, and the hurt had been clear on Matt’s face. He caught a flash of red hair and he increased his speed, that road lead to a least a half-dozen routes that Matt could take, and he was determined not to let him get way.

He rounded the corner and skidded to a halt. Matt had stopped, but Dom didn’t think it was because he wanted too. He was sitting on the kerb, flexing his bad leg.

He approached and sat down next to him, and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

“You don’t trust me,” Matt said softly.

“Of course I do,” he replied.

“Then why did you accuse me of….that?”

Dom knew he had to be careful…..the wrong word said in the wrong way.

“Because I was worried, you were acting weird, especially after you got cold feet in my flat…do you remember that?”

He turned to look at Matt, hoping that he did.

“I remember, things were going way too fast, I got scared. Scared of t-this,” he said and tapped his head. “I couldn’t let you f-fall for me, then if I’d d-died. Then I thought, w-what if I died without knowing, and it w-went downhill from there. When you kissed me at that party, I panicked, because I couldn’t remember.”

Dom moved closer and put an arm around Matt’s shoulder, relieved when Matt didn’t shrug it off.

“So you ran, you daft bugger. You should have told us.”

“I’m sorry,” Matt said.

“S’okay, just don’t do that, ever again. How about we go back before the others think we’ve killed each other.”

“Chris is going to kick my arse, isn’t he?”

Dom laughed, “Unless you do some serious grovelling.”

Chris glowered at Matt but was somewhat appeased when he apologised to Ava-Jo and promised to make an appearance at a party that she was going to.

“You do realise you’re going to be swamped by giggling teenage girls...and their mums,” Dom said.

Dom didn’t like the smile Matt gave him.

“You too, I’m going to need a wing-man,” then ran.

*****************

Matt sighed as he sank into the bath; the silence a welcome friend.

Although he knew he wasn’t alone in the house, what with Dom staying and Anna being an ever constant presence, the bathroom was his refuge.

He hoped the steam would soothe the headache away, and the heat from the water ease his leg; running he’d decided, hadn’t been the best idea.It had been a reaction to the memories that had flooded back. There were still gaps, but he supposed he might never get those back; lost when he collapsed.

But getting those memories back had given him a dilemma; yes, he had feeling for Dom, he was sure of it, yet he was wary of taking it to the next level. However, he definitely wanted to go on that dinner date.

He jumped when there was a knock at the door.

“Matt, you okay?” Dom’s voice said.

“Yeah, just trying to ease my leg.”

“I can rub some stuff into it when you’ve finished….if you want?”

He thought about it for a few seconds, “Yeah.”

He let out a hiss as Dom hit a knot of muscles.

“Sorry,” Dom said.

“S’okay.”

He tensed when he felt Dom trace a finger down the scar that ran from his hip to the middle of his calf; he wouldn’t blame Dom if he found it…found him unattractive.

“I know, it’s ugly,” he said, trying not to reveal his disappointment in his voice. He was surprised by Dom’s answer.

“No, it’s not. I’m just remembering the day you got it, do you remember, the accident?”

He turned then and sat up, moving his leg away from Dom’s hands.

“Sorry, I don’t.”

“They say that can happen, but I remember, I’ll never forget it. I thought you’d gone under the wheels of that taxi, there was so much blood…all the noise, and how it changed things.”

“You mean changed me, for the worse.”

Dom moved forward and grabbed his arm.

“No, I mean it made us, me, Chris and Tom think, what if we’d lost you? We’re a family Matt, it would have been the end of our world.”

Dom trailed off then and placed a hand on his cheek.

“If I’d lost you,” he said softly, then placed a kiss on his forehead. “Now, bed, sleep, there’s a ton of stuff to do. You have your scan…then I am taking you to dinner.”

“In New York?”

“In New York, now…bed, sleep.”

“Yes, mother,” he said, earning him a 'are you serious’ look.

“You need anything, you bother me, not Anna, okay?”

He yawned and stretched, then nodded; it had been a hell of a day…actually, it had been a hell of a month. An hour later he was still awake…he wondered if……

*************

Dom had seen Matt’s face fall when he’d said it had changed things. He hadn’t been lying when he said it, and he wasn’t lying when he said it would have been the end of their world. The whirlwind that was Matt had brought the four of them together, and for twenty years they had been trying to stop that whirlwind from becoming a self-destructive storm.

They’d had a taste of what that life would be like when he’d gone missing for six months…and he hadn’t liked it. 

He’d hidden his feeling for Matt for too long and he'd acted, and had ballsed it up…big time.

Then Matt had collapsed on stage, and the realisation that he could lose Matt for real terrified him. Then Matt had ran and had actually found someone else and he thought he’d lost his chance forever.

But life had finally given him a second chance, and this time he wasn’t going to make the same mistake; he would let Matt set the pace…let it be his decision.

He sighed, sleep wasn’t going to be his friend tonight. His thoughts were interrupted by light tapping at the door…then Matt’s voice and the door opening.

“Dom, you awake?”

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he said and turned on the bedside light.

“Can’t sleep,” Matt said. “Can I…y’know?”

“Yeah,” he said and lifted the duvet. He endured a good five minutes of Matt settling, which meant him trying to avoid elbows and other sharp part of Matt’s frame.

“Settled now?” he asked when Matt finally stilled.

“Yeah…thanks for this.”

“S’alright, I said if you wanted anything."

“Still….g’night,” Matt said.

“Night,” he replied, a small smile forming…it was a start, and he hoped it would be just the beginning.


	12. Chapter 12

Dominic woke to find himself alone, Matthew must have returned to his own bed. He was a little disappointed, but he had to let this be on Matt’s terms. He looked at the clock; it was only six o’clock. 

He heard a noise outside the door, then it was pushed open, and there was Matt, trying to balance a tray whilst opening the door with one foot.

He watched as the frontman performed the balancing act, and he smiled at the look of concentration on Matt’s face as he carried the tray over. He thoroughly enjoyed the omelette, and had just finished when he heard Anna’s voice.

“Oh good lord.”

He looked at Matt and said, “You did clean up, right?”

Matt grimaced as Anna’s voice floated up the stairs.

“Matthew James Bellamy…a word.”

**************

A cleaned kitchen and a telling off from Anna later, they were at the hospital for Matt’s MRI.   
Chris had come along, as Matt was having a mild sedative to make sure he didn’t move whilst in the scanner; he would drive Matt and Dom home afterwards. Dom sat with Chris while Matt had a cannula fitted.

“Chris,” Dom said. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“Course’,” he replied. “Do you?”

Dom didn’t reply as Matt had returned.

“I hate these bloody things,” he exclaimed, sticking his arm out to show them.

Ten minutes later the nurse called his name and he disappeared through the door.

Dom waited until the doors had closed before he spoke.

“I’m worried, Chris. He won’t say anything, but his headaches aren’t getting any better, and his painkillers aren’t helping. What if there’s another problem, what if there’s another blood clot?”

Chris held up his hand, “Dom, wait until he gets the results. Think about the weekend instead.”

Dom nodded and tried to quell his nerves.

What seemed an eternity later the nurse returned to say they could take him home, which was a source of amusement, as Matt was very relaxed.

“Come on Matt,” Dom said, trying to coax Matt into sitting on the sofa, so he could sleep off the sedative.

Chris had left because he was needed elsewhere, and Dom had his hands full. He tried once again to steer Matt towards the sofa, but Matt was having none of it.

He was staring intently at him.

“Your hair is so, so shiny…like gold. You didn’t talk to a little bloke who refused to tell you his name, slightly obsessed with spinning wheels, did you? Cause’ he’s bad news. Lucky for you I know his name, Rumple something or other….so shiny.”

Dom had to supress the shiver that threatened to run through him when Matt reached out and caressed his hair.

“So shiny…ooh look, a blackbird,” Matt suddenly said and moved past him and headed towards the patio door.

“Oh no you don’t,” Dom said and grabbed Matt and pulled him back.

Matt giggled and Dom found himself falling onto the sofa, with a lapful of over-friendly singer.

“Dommy, so forceful…I like it,” Matt said and ran fingers up Dom’s arm. “And those muscles.”

Dom was finding it hard to cope with proximity of the front man; the heat was palpable.

“I bet those muscles could hold me down,” Matt breathed.

“Okay, that’s the sedative talking,” Dom said, ignoring what certain parts of his anatomy were shouting. He used those muscles to push Matt away and onto the sofa.

He handed him the throw rug, “You, sleep it off,” he barked.

Five minutes later Matt was asleep and Dom hoped he wouldn’t remember anything about what had happened. 

He walked into the kitchen and made a much needed coffee and checked his e-mail. He smiled when he saw what he had planned had been confirmed. He hoped Matt would like it.

The sound of the front door opening told him that Anna was back from her morning off.

“Back from the hospital already?” she said as she joined him at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, they were running early for a change.”

“And how is Matthew?”

“Sleeping off the sedative. Just got to wait for the results now.”

“Well, don’t think about that until it happens, you have this weekend to look forward to.”

“Yeah, I’ve got the whole thing planned. I just hope he likes it.”

“Dominic, he will love it, if I know Matthew at all.”

*********************

Matt had no clue as to what Dom had planned…hell, all he knew was they were flying to New York for a long weekend. Now he was being driven in a car to who knows where, and all he was getting out of Dom was ‘wait and see’.

When the car slowed, he thought it was because of the traffic. Then it pulled into the drop off point outside the Chatwal Hotel.

“Is this where we’re staying?” he asked.

“Yep,” Dom said.

He sat in the lobby whilst Dom went to reception; this place was way too classy for the likes of himself.

“You like it?” Dom asked as he looked round the suite…well apartment.

“I love it,” he replied. “But dinner would have been enough.”

Dom took his hand and held it tightly. “I want this to be special, just enjoy, okay?”

He nodded and followed Dom.

“This is your room, I thought you’d like the view. My room is just there. I’m going to shower, okay. You’ll be ready to go out in an hour?” Dom said.

“Sure.”

“Remember, dress warm.”

Matt sighed after Dom had left; he was beginning to regret his ‘taking it slow’. Forty-five minutes later, he was pulling on a sweater and then a coat and scarf.

There was a knock at the door.

“You ready, Matt?”

*****************

As they walked towards his planned date for tonight, Dom managed to deflect Matt’s attempts at finding out where they were going. This had been Kelly’s idea, and she was usually spot on.

As they approached he could hear the music and he knew that Matt could hear it too. When they finally arrived, he looked at Matt.

There was wide grin on his face…bless Kelly, but it would make his wallet a bit lighter. All he did was follow Matt from stall to stall; he was like the proverbial kid in a sweet shop, but he didn’t mind.

He managed to pull Matt away from the stalls with a bribe of hot chocolate and as many marshmallows as he could manage. He was taken by surprise when after finishing his drink, 

Matt leant over and kissed him, he tasted of chocolate and the sugar sweet of marsh mallows...and what was uniquely Matt.

Then he was scurrying away towards the stalls. By the time he’d caught up, Matt was pocketing something, but refused to say what he’d brought.

They returned to the hotel and the welcomed warmth of the suite.

They sat in companionable silence, sharing a bottle of red.

“Thank you, that was brilliant,” Matt said and once again leant in and kissed him and Dom felt a flash of heat.

He reached out and pulled Matt closer and deepened the kiss… and Matt didn’t resist. He wrapped his arm around Matt’s waist to steady him, and his other hand went for Matt’s hair, pulling slightly.

He’d seen in their younger and wilder days, girls doing that to Matt, and he’d seen Matt’s response; sometimes he heard it too. But he felt Matt tense and then suddenly pull away.

Matt stood and ran a hand through his hair…of course, the scar from his surgery.

“Did I hurt you?”

Matt shook his head.

“Then what?”

Matt ran a hand through his hair again, but stopped where the scar was…then he was gone, then the sound of a bedroom door being closed.

Dom wasn’t going to leave it this time; that kiss had been very heated, and he knew that Matt must have wanted it. After a few minutes he knocked on Matt’s door.

“Matt, are you okay?”

“Just tired,” came the reply.

“Oh, okay. Goodnight then,” he said, totally unconvinced that Matt was okay, but wise enough not to try and push him for an answer.

He went about getting ready for bed, then went to fetch a glass of water, but he stopped when he thought he heard a sob coming from Matt’s room.

But again he left it, knowing that it had to be on Matt’s terms, even if it meant leaving him in emotional pain.

*******************

Matt had enjoyed the evening and felt emboldened enough to kiss Dom at the craft market. 

Then back at the hotel, a couple of glasses of wine had given him more courage, and the kiss was becoming very pleasurable. Dom’s arm round his waist sent a shiver along his spine, until   
Dom pulled slightly on his hair.

The image of the scar hidden by his hair flashed through his mind, and the confidence was gone, lost to a wave of self-loathing. He had to fight the urge to run and managed to walk away.

Then there was a knock at the door.

“Matt, are you okay?”

“Just tired,” he answered.

“Oh, okay. Goodnight then,” Dom said.

This is all my fault…why hadn’t I just gone back and apologise after that argument on the yacht.

Then he wouldn’t be like this…scarred and useless. How could someone like Dom want someone like him? 

Tears came unbidden and didn’t stop until sleep took him.


	13. Chapter 13

Matt woke with a headache…well the headache that he lived with, except crying oneself to sleep added a headache on top of a headache. 

Crying himself to sleep wasn’t something he’d intended on doing; now he was paying the price.

He reached for the pills that didn’t work anymore, in the vain hope that they would. It must still be early as it was dark outside. He sat up and ran his hands over his face. For a few seconds he considered going to Dom’s room, but he quashed the idea.

He walked over to the window and looked out at the city. It would be easy to get lost he thought as he looked out at the lighted metropolis. 

Part of him was very tempted to just walk out and disappear…but no. 

He couldn’t do that…not now.

Perhaps just a walk then; it wasn’t far to the park…then he spotted the hotel brochure and the picture on the front.

A few minutes later he was rummaging round one of his bags, until he found his lyric book. He tore a leaf out and licking the end of the pencil, he scribbled a note, but he doubted Dom would be awake before he got back.

He grabbed what he needed off the bed, and after slipping the note under Dom’s door, he left the suite.

It didn’t take him long to get to his destination; it felt a little odd, but he went with it. He shivered when he stepped into the water, but he   
soon adjusted to the temperature. He began a gentle freestyle and his headache began to ease somewhat.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in the pool, but he was sure he still had time to get back before Dom woke. He allowed himself to float, eyes closed, listening to the noises of the pool.

He opened his eyes when he heard someone entering the pool. Who else would be here at this time?

He stood and took a sharp breath…it was Dom.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

Matt couldn’t take his eyes of Dominic as he slipped into the water, and waded towards him.

“Nice little note, lucky I can understand your scribble. This is different.”

Matt’s pulse quickened as Dom stopped in front of him. His eyes were drawn to the water lying on and around Dom’s collarbone. He couldn’t stop the shiver that went through him when Dom reached out and placed a hand on his cheek.

“I remember the first time I noticed how beautiful you were…really noticed. Just like you are now…really beautiful.”

“Oh, when was that?” he asked, curious as to when it was.

“Big Day Out, two-thousand and ten. We went surfing, remember, you were shit and went swimming instead. You sat on that rocky part and you took my breath away.”

“Sweet talker,” he said and pulled away from Dom’s hand…well tried to, but Dom caught his waist with his free arm.

“I said you’re beautiful, it’s not just a line. You are truly beautiful.”

He let out a surprised gasp when Dom pulled him forwards and right against his body.

“I want you, Matt…no, need you, and all this taking it slow is driving me crazy.”

Then Dom leant in and kissed him and this time he wasn’t going to back away. He felt Dom’s tongue seek permission for entrance to his mouth and he let it.

He didn’t stop the moan he felt welling up and he could feel Dom’s reaction against his own body…..oh.

*******************

Dom woke and straight away had that nagging feeling…something felt off. He turned the light on and instantly his eyes zeroed in on the piece of paper.

No...please…it couldn’t be…not again.

With a wildly beating heart, he approached the slip of paper. His hand was actually shaking as he picked it up. It took a few seconds for the words to sink in.

He quickly dressed, grabbed a towel and thanked the stars that he’d reminded himself and Matt to pack swimwear…but he wasn’t expecting a night-time swim.

He looked through the window of the door to the pool. He could see Matt, who was floating in the pool. He went through to the changing area and was disappointed when the door to the pool squeaked as it opened and disturbed Matt; he’d wanted to watch Matt for a while.

But he was also glad that it had, because when Matt stood at his intrusion, he looked beautiful…yes, that was the word. A memory flashed through his mind; that day in 2010, when he’d seen Matt sitting on that rock.

He was beautiful then and he was beautiful now.

But back then he hadn’t acted on it; he’d had no idea back then about how Matt felt, and fear of losing him as a friend and ruining the band stopped him.

Now he was taking in the man, that little ball of energy that had stolen his heart.

“May I join you?” he asked.

He heard Matt’s sharp intake of breath and he could see Matt’s eyes tracking his movement as he waded towards him.

“Nice little note, luckily I can read your scribble.”

He stopped in front of Matt and reached out and smiled at the shiver that ran through Matt when he touched his face.

“I remember the first time I noticed how beautiful you were…really noticed.”

“Oh, when was that?” Matt asked.

“Big Day Out, two-thousand and ten. We went surfing, remember, you were shit and went swimming instead. You sat on that rocky part and you took my breath away.”

“Sweet talker,” Matt said and started to pull away.

Oh no you don’t, he thought and pulled him back by wrapping his free arm around Matt’s waist. 

“I said you’re beautiful, it’s not just a line. You are truly beautiful.”

He pulled Matt forward until his body was flush with his.

“I want you, Matt…no, need you, and all this taking it slow is driving me crazy.”

He saw Matt’s eye widen and his pupils dilate…yes, he wanted this too. He took a chance and leant in and kissed him. Once again Matt responded to the kiss, so he deepened it, his tongue seeking permission for entrance, and it was given.

The soft moan that it elicited from Matt went straight to his groin.

The squeak of the door made Matt jump, and he pulled away, just as someone else entered the pool, and whatever this moment could have been was gone, as Matt swam to the other side of the pool and got out.

When Matt glanced back Dom couldn’t decide if he should follow or give him space; he chose the wrong option.

When he entered the changing area it was empty; Matt must have already gone back to the suite. He hurriedly dressed and made his way back to the suite.

He couldn’t see Matt, and his bedroom door was open. Then he heard the unmistakable giggle of the frontman. It was then that he saw the empty foil and what looked like spilt wine….oh no.

Then he heard the faint sound of glass breaking; it came from the balcony. He walked over and then anger and fear welled up inside him…Matt was in the process of climbing over the railing.

He moved faster than he’d ever done before and grabbed Matt by an arm, pulled him back and span him round.

“What the hell are you doing!?” he yelled.

********************

The sound of the door squeaking made Matt jump. He pulled away from Dom and tried to regain control of his breathing and other parts of his anatomy.

He swam away from Dom and headed towards the other side, and then pulled himself out of the water. He glanced behind him and saw that Dom was still in the water, he sighed; oh well, it must have been a spur of the moment thing…nothing more.

He hurried to the changing area and quickly dressed, not bothering to dry himself and made his way back to the suite and straight to the fridge. He grabbed the bottle of red and a glass. He filled the glass and downed it in one.

He felt the familiar twinge of his headache returning, so he found his pills and popped two from the foil, then thought about it and popped another one and swallowed them with another glass of red.

“Stupid….stupid,” he said to himself. “As if he’d want someone like you Bellamy. Don’t get your hopes up, the first pretty boy he sees….”

He moved out onto the balcony and leant against the railing, staring down at the ground.

He felt a little light- headed; not just because he was not very good with heights, but the mixture of alcohol and tablets were giving him a pleasant buzz.

A thought entered his head and he dangled the bottle and the glass over the edge and let go. He watched as they dropped and then let out a small giggle when they smashed against the roof of whatever was below.

Well, that’s that theory tested…..hmm, and what he did next seemed perfectly reasonable to his pill and alcohol befuddled mind. He stepped onto the small ledge and leant out further…wow that was a long way down.

He could see the glittering shards from the glass and the bottle below.

“Now, if the theory’s right…” he said.

He started to climb over the railing but suddenly found himself yanked back, spun round and facing a very angry and frightened Dom.

“What the hell are you doing!?” he yelled.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some angst...but also fluff.

“What the hell are you doing!?”

Why is Dom yelling at me? Oh right, shouldn’t have dropped that bottle and glass.

“S’alright, they landed on a concrete roof…and oww!”

He rubbed his arm where Dom had grabbed it. He couldn’t understand why Dom still looked angry.

“You think I’m worried about bits of glass. What were you doing climbing over the railings?”

“Testing a theory.”

“And what theory is that? The am I really in-destructible theory?”

He giggled at that. “That’s daft...gravity…you know, why things like a bowling ball and a feather fall at the same speed.”

Dom still looked angry and grabbed his arm again, and pulled him into the suite.

“Again…oww,” he whined.

Then Dom was waving an empty piece of foil in front of his eyes.

“Matt, how many did you take?”

Why was he asking?

“Hang on,” he said and closed one eye in concentration, whilst trying to remember.

“Two….no, three…possibly.”

“Matt, you’re only supposed to take one, and not with alcohol. You’re as high as fuck.”

“Am I?” he replied, suddenly remembering he still had one eye closed, and opened it.

“Yes, hence why you were climbing over the railing.”

“Nah, told you, gravity test.”

Dom grabbed his wrist…then took hold of his head and looked into his eyes.

“Bloody oww, Howard!” he snapped.

“Your pulse rate is fine...thank fuck. You’re just high.”

“Yep, and it feels…whoa…yeah, it feels good,” he giggled.

******************

Dom should have been elated that Matt wasn’t going to OD, but he wasn’t. What if he’d stayed in the pool five minutes longer…this would be far different conversation, and he would be having it with a police officer about the death of one Matthew Bellamy.

But thank fortune he hadn’t, but his heart was still racing after stopping Matt from doing something fatal; not suicidal, he was sure of that. Matt was high as the proverbial kite, and was babbling on about gravity.

Well, this was turning out to some romantic weekend...not.

He had to bring Matt down somehow…there was only one thing for it. He took Matt’s arm again and pulled him towards his bedroom.

“Oh…like that, is it? Matt said. “You could have just asked.”

Dom rolled his eyes...not what you’re thinking. He thanked the hotel for the room having a walk in shower.

“Kinky…like it,” Matt said, when Dom stripped him down to his tee and boxers, completely unaware of what was about to happen.

“Stay,” he said as he placed Matt under the shower head. “Sorry about this.”

He turned the cold water tap.

The squeal the cold water elicited from the front man, wouldn’t have been out of place at a One Direction concert…not the expletives that followed though.

He ignored them, and the pleas for him to turn the bloody water off. He moved back over, not caring that he was getting wet and grabbed hold of Matt’s head and looked into his eyes. His pupils were no longer dilated…thank god.

He began adding warm water until Matt stopped shivering. He could see the puzzlement on Matt’s face; he didn’t have a clue as to why he was standing in a cold shower.

“Dom, what’s going on?” he asked, blinking water out of his eyes.

Dom reached over and turned the shower off.

“You took too many pain pills and drank half a bottle of red. You were high.”

Those oh so blue eyes struggled to comprehend.

"Let’s get you out of these wet things,” he said. When he reached for Matt’s tee, Matt said in a quiet voice.

“I’m sorry”

There was an indecipherable look in Matt’s eyes, but a shiver dissipated it, and by the time he’d retrieved a towel, the look was gone.

He went to wrap the towel around him and yet again there was that look, but this time Matt reached out and stroked his face.

“Thank you.”

Ten minutes later they were both in dry clothes and ordering dinner. 

Again Matt had that look…what was going on inside his head?

“Matt…”

But Matt put a finger on his lips to silence him.

“I know you’re frustrated, and I’m sorry for that. I do want more, Dom…so much more…but.”

Dom could sense that he was struggling to say whatever it was he needed to say.

“It’s okay, I understand, you need time.”

“No,” Matt said sharply. “I don’t...these headaches are getting worse, and I’m terrified that the one thing I don’t have is time. I’m terrified as   
to what the scans are going to show.”

Dom shook his head, “Matt, if there had been something, they would have called you, and we wouldn’t be sitting here, would we?”

Matt sighed, “I suppose.”

“No, not suppose…we wouldn’t be sitting here. So don’t think about it, and as for that headache, how about I give you one of world famous head massages?”

Dom smiled when Matt quirked an eyebrow and that mischievous glint appeared in his eyes.

“World famous, eh? Would that be the real world, or is that Dom’s world?”

“Oi, I never saw you complaining.”

“Only cause’ I was busy gritting my teeth against the pain.”

“Right, you’re going to pay for that,” he said and pounced, going straight for Matt’s sides.

Ten minutes later a very confused member of staff was walking away, wondering why the man that had answered the door hair was all over the place, and the man on the couch with the shocking red hair looked flustered.

*****************

Matt closed his eyes and let a sigh escape his lips. The rhythmic movement of Dom’s hand over his scalp felt wonderful. His head was on Dom’s lap, as they sat on the couch after dinner.

“Funny, can’t hear any sounds of pain,” Dom said.

He just smiled and let out another sigh. When the hand stopped, he opened his eyes and found himself staring into stormy grey ones. He frowned…were there tears in them?

“Dom?”

“I don’t want to lose you. I want this…I want to share dinner with you every night, and I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to take you to bed and show you how much I love and want you.”

He blinked, then looking straight into those steely orbs, he said. “Then take me.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally something happens between the two of them....

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Matt groaned when Dom ran his fingers down his rib-cage. His feather-light touch set his skin on fire. He twitched at the touch, and he let out another groan when Dom’s touch became become firmer.

They were laying on Dom’s bed, clad only in underwear and Dom seemed to be exploring every part of his exposed skin. He was barely touching him and it was driving him insane.

Fingers skimmed across his chest and briefly brushed across a nipple.

“Holy hell,” he breathed.

This elicited a soft laugh from Dom, who continued the same action. He groaned again and arched into the touch.

“You like?” Dom said, skimming his fingers along his stomach.

“Hell yes.”

Dom smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

*****************

Dom wasn’t going to push things, but Matt seemed to be making the running and heated and passionate kisses had led to them lying on his bed in nothing but their boxers.

Now he was exploring every inch of Matt’s exposed skin, admiring the way is stretched over his wiry frame. He reached out and gently ran his fingers along Matt’s ribcage, pleased at the response that got.

He ran his fingers across Matt’s chest, skimming a nipple.

A “Holy hell” and Matt arching his back was the response. He let out a soft laugh at that.

“You like?” he asked, skimming his fingers across Matt’s stomach.

“Hell yes,” Matt replied.

He smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Matt’s lips. He became bolder and began drawing circles on his belly and traced the dark hair of his treasure trail, then skimmed the edge of his boxers.

He smiled at the way Matt’s muscles twitched at his touch.

“Too much?”

Matt shook his head and emboldened by it he moved his hand down…oh yes, Matt definitely liked. He returned to kissing Matt…his taste so unique.

He moved his hand again and started to slip his hand inside Matt’s boxers. He heard Matt’s breath hitch and thinking it was a step too far he took his hand away, only to have it grabbed and placed back.

“Please,” Matt said, his voice thick with desire.

“Need these off then,” Dom said.

There was a few moments of wriggling and an elbow in Dom’s face before said boxers were discarded, but the reaction to his hand on hard flesh was worth it.

The groan it elicited from Matt was low and rumbled through Matt’s entire body. 

He’d heard that groan before, but only at a distance and under the cover of darkness, when some girl did something Matt really liked. Now it was his touch that was eliciting that groan. 

He tightened his grip and began a steady rhythm, listening to Matt’s breathing become heavier and less steady. He placed kisses against Matt’s neck, somewhere he knew he was sensitive, and he felt the result in his hand.

“Dom…not gonna last long,” Matt breathed.

“That’s okay…let go,” Dom said between kisses and he increased the rhythm…and Matt came undone.

His back arched and his head tilted back, and with another of those groan he came, the warmth on Dom’s hand the evidence of it.

Matt was breathing hard, a sheen of sweat covering him.

“So beautiful,” Dom said and with his free hand pushed sweat soaked hair from Matt’s brow. 

Then he reached across for some tissues and cleaned Matt and himself. Discarding the tissues he lay back and pulled Matt into his arms.

Matt looked at him with sleepy blue orbs and murmured something, but it was unintelligible.

Dom just smiled, pulled him even closer and let sleep take them.

*******************

Matt woke to the warmth of a body next to him, for a moment he was confused, but then memory came flooding back….oh, and it was a pleasant memory.

However, at this precise moment, nature was calling and his leg was doing a good job of telling him that he needed to move. He managed to extricate himself from Dom and shivered when he stood; the lack of Dom’s body heat and the fact that he was naked meant he felt cold.

If he didn’t desperately need the bathroom or need to stretch his leg, he would climb right back into bed and loose himself in Dom’s warmth. 

He found his discarded boxers, used the bathroom, and then went in search of the liniment for his leg.

Evidence of last night was scattered around the living area…a tee shirt here…a pair of jeans there. He smiled, it had certainly been enjoyable, and he definitely wanted to do it again.

A twinge in his leg reminded him why he was standing in just his underwear. He went to his own room and found the liniment.

He was walking back to Dom’s room when he felt the muscle in his leg twitch…then cramp.

“Fuck…fuck…fuck!” he yelled and collided with the couch and fell.

His stage volume swearing brought a startled Dom into the living area.

“Matt, you okay?”

“Cramp!” he gasped as Dom helped him onto the couch.

Dom then took his foot and began stretching his leg.

“Oww….oww...Dom!”

“You have to stretch it, to stop it. How’s the pain?”

“Better.”

Dom kept his leg stretched for another minute or so before putting it down gently.

“How does it feel now?”

“Tight,” he replied. “Bloody leg.”

Dom stood and held out his hand, “Come back to bed and I’ll rub some of that stuff in.”

He took the offered hand and hissed when he put weight on the leg. He half-walked, half-hobbled back to the bedroom.

“We can sleep in,” Dom said. “Then we’ll be fresh for dinner tonight, yeah?”

He nodded and let Dom lead him, and with a contented sigh he settled back into bed, and he forgot about the cramp in his leg…the ache from the damage done by the accident, and for once the headache faded until it was barely noticeable.

He realised it was only one thing that had done all those things, it was the man with stormy grey eyes that now held him as he let sleep take him.

*******************

Dom opened his eyes and immediately registered the lack of Matt. His heart sank a little, had Matt returned to his own bed? Had he pushed too far…..no, Matt had definitely been willing.

He smiled at the memory, Matt had looked, felt and sounded beautiful, and the fact that it was himself that had given Matt so much pleasure made him happy.

He was about to get up and go and see if Matt had gone back to his own room, when he heard a string of expletives and a loud thud. He was up in seconds and out of the bedroom, and he found Matt on the floor, clutching his bad leg…crap.

“Matt, you okay?”

“Cramp!” he gasped.

He rushed over and helped Matt to the couch, grabbed his foot and began stretching the leg.

“Oww…oww Dom!”

“You have to stretch it to stop it. How’s the pain?”

“Better,” Matt said.

He kept the leg stretched for little longer, then gently put it down.

“How’s that feel?”

“Tight…bloody leg.”

“Come back to bed and I’ll rub some of that stuff in.”

He held out his hand, which Matt took and half-walked, half-hobbled back to the bedroom.

“We can sleep in, then we’ll be fresh for dinner tonight.”

He sighed inwardly with relief when Matt nodded, and the contented sigh he gave as he rubbed the liniment in made his heart lift again, and when Matt curled up against him like a happy cat, his heart soared.

He could only hope that what he had planned to do during dinner tonight wouldn’t backfire.

************

Chris looked at what was contained in the box, then took it out to examine it.

“Is it too much too soon?” 

“Dom, it’s beautiful.”

“But will Matt like it?”

“Mate, he’ll love it, you know he’s a sucker for shiny things. I swear he was a jackdaw in his last life.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, you do realise me and the others will have to suffer a loved up Bellamy, don’t you?”

Dom had just smiled…he really hoped so.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh...happy...happy, but you know what they say..........

Dom woke when he felt the bed move; of course it was Matt, the singer could never stay still.

“Matt, what are you doing?”

“Just checking stuff.”

“Well put the I-pad down and leave the stuff alone. We are on a romantic weekend, not a checking stuff weekend.”

“But the album.”

“The album is not going to disappear into the ether.”

“Nah, not this album…the next one. You keep going about that riff, guess I’ll write a song round it.”

Dom smiled but grabbed the I-pad and tucked it under his pillow.

“Oi!”

“Enough, you are going to relax before dinner tonight. I’ve booked you a spa session, and don’t give me that look. The hotel has a whole complex, including a…well, you’ll see.”

“And what are you going to be doing?”

Dom gave him his filthiest grin, “I’m going to give you a reason for the spa.”

Matt raised an eyebrow and Dom saw the challenge in his eyes, so he pounced.

*********************

Matt had to admit, he was enjoying the spa. The masseuse was currently working a miracle on his bad leg, and on the muscles that ached from what had occurred before he left for the spa. 

Yet again he’d definitely enjoyed it, and he’d even tried to reciprocate; which was fun, if a little awkward….well he wasn’t exactly experienced at it. He may not remember what went on between them before his collapse, but he was making new memories, ones that were making him happy…Dom made him happy.

But there was a shadow, and that was his own body….the headaches, his stupid leg, and his lack of ‘handbrake’ as he called it. He wished they would just disappear.

He sat in the sauna, letting the steam ease his throat. It had been a while since he’d sung anything, and with another tour looming he was out of practice. Eventually he had to leave, as he’d made an appointment at the hair salon that was situated inside the hotel, then pick up the suit he intended to wear from the in-hotel altering service; handy that.

He scowled when he felt a twinge of pain where his scar was…bloody headache, never left him alone. He ignored it…not tonight matey boy.

He looked at his watch…blimey, better hurry.

****************

“And we do have that table?”

“Yes sir, the table right next to the window. It has the best view from inside the restaurant.”

“And you have that bottle of red?”

“It arrived today, sir. It will have plenty of time to breath.”

“Thank you, we will be there a seven forty-five.”

“Yes sir, we will see you then.”

Dom closed his phone and looked at the time…better get ready, want to look good for Matt.

He now stood outside Matt’s bedroom and fiddled with his jacket. He rarely wore a suit, but the restaurant had a dress code; thank god they didn’t insist on a tie. Letting out a breath he knocked on the door.

He could hear movement inside, bet he’s not even ready yet. But seconds later the door was opened and….dear lord, Matt looked stunning. 

His red hair had been restyled and the black suit fitted him perfectly, and he smiled because he was wearing the silver chain.

“You ready?” 

“Yeah.”

“Shall we?” he said and crooked an arm.

Matt raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m not bloody Scarlett O’Hara,” and walked past him.

Dom smiled, he loved spikey Matt.

The dinner and half the bottle of red, which Matt was delighted by was spent in casual conversation about ideas for the next album and the tour.

Dom excused himself and when he came back, Matt wasn’t at the table.

“Sir has gone out onto the outside dining area,” their waiter informed him.

He stepped outside and could see Matt standing at the balustrade, staring out at the city.

“You wouldn’t think the lights would be beautiful, would you?” Matt said when he stopped next to him.

He had that wistful look in his eyes…the one he got when he was thinking deeply about something.

“How many city lights do you thing we’ve seen?”

“Who knows,” he replied.

“Sometimes, when I couldn’t sleep I used to look at the lights, and I’d wonder, if I was an alien and I saw all those lights from above, what would I think?”

He sighed, “This is lovely, Dom….thank you.”

Matt leant over and kissed him on the cheek; then looked back out at the city.

Dom reached into his pocket and took out the box.

“Matt?”

Matt looked at him, then at the box and frowned.

“Dom, what is this?”

He saw Matt’s frown and said quickly, “It’s not an engagement ring.”

He opened the box. Inside was a platinum ring, decorated with Celtic runes, which Dom knew Matt would understand, and there was a single sapphire to match Matt’s eye colour inside a Celtic knot.

“It’s a promise ring, it goes on the little finger on your left hand. It’s a promise from me, that I will be by your side whatever happens, whenever it happens. Will you wear it?”

Matt smiled that smile, the one that crinkled the corner of his eyes and lit up his face.

“It’s beautiful, of course I’ll wear it,” he said and slipped it onto his finger.

Dom smiled and pulled Matt into his arms, and they stayed like that until Matt started to shiver.

“Come on, let’s go back to the hotel.”

Matt was still shivering when they got into bed; he was never good with the cold.

“C’mere, my little icicle,” Dom said and wrapped himself around Matt and kissed his cold nose.

“Dom,” Matt said.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“I don’t want this to ever end. I want the next twenty years to be like this.”

Dom was taken aback by that, and prayed to whatever gods there were, that it would be true.

“Dom,” Matt said again and Dom found himself looking into those oh so blue eyes.

“I want you to be my first, I want you to make love to me.”

********************

Dom revelled in the way Matt felt; he’d been gentle…oh so gentle, taking his time, working Matt up into a state of lust…and oh god, he felt so good, both of them riding the wave of heat that washed over them.

Matt let out a particularly throaty moan when he hit the right spot.

“Jesus Matt,” he breathed and he got the same response as he hit it again.

It wasn’t long after that, that they were laying sated, letting the sweat cool.

Matt sniffed and said, “Gotta use the bathroom.”

“Kay,” Dom replied sleepily.

He was just drifting off when he heard a thud from the bathroom…Matt being clumsy again. Then he thought he heard Matt say something.

He got up and went to the bathroom door.

“Matt, are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” came the reply, but Matt’s voice sounded strained, muffled.

“I’m coming in,” he said and opened the door, to find Matt leaning against the sink, a towel held to his face…a bloody towel.


	17. Chapter 17

“Let me look,” Dom said and gently eased the towel away from Matt’s face.

“It’s stopped bleeding,” he said and threw the towel on the floor. He took a hand towel and ran it under the tap. He gently cleaned the blood from Matt’s mouth and chin, then carefully cleaned around his nose.

The amount of blood had been alarming, but he didn’t panic; more for Matt’s sake that his own, and he blessed Glen for making them take that first-aid course.

Matt let out a hiss when he accidently pressed too hard.

“Sorry,” he said and put the towel down. He took Matt’s hands to stop them shaking.

“Do you want me to call for a doctor?”

Matt shook his head, “Just wanna sleep.”

“Okay, but we see a doctor tomorrow, then we fly home tomorrow instead of Tuesday, okay?”

Matt nodded.

“Right, let’s get you back to bed.”

Matt was asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow, and Dom watched him sleep. He didn’t like what had happened, Matt hadn’t had a nosebleed since his collapse, and it worried him.

His overworking mind conjured up disturbing thoughts…no, stop thinking like that. He pulled the sleeping frontman closer and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep.

*******************

“And you don’t normally suffer from nosebleeds?”

Matt shook his head, then tried not to move as the doctor shone a light up his nostrils.

“Well, it looks like a couple of capillaries burst. Bleeds can look worse than they are. Your blood pressure is slightly elevated, I’d mention it to your own practitioner. You’ll be okay to fly though.”

Matt let out a sigh and let his mind wander as the doctor filled out paperwork. The nosebleed had scared him…the fear that things were happening in his head again almost paralysing him. 

A few months ago he might have said…fine, let it happen, then all this crap would be over .But now there was Dom, and he didn’t want that anymore.

He looked at the ring on his left hand; the promise ring. He smiled, but it was tinged with sadness…life didn’t care about promises.

The doctor speaking brought him back and he signed some papers and walked back into reception. He saw Dom, head down, hands scrunching up his t–shirt.

“Hey,” he said and gave him a reassuring smile when he looked up. “Doc says it was just a nosebleed. I’m okay to fly.”

Dom seemed reassured and returned the smile.

The returned to the hotel to pack and phone Chris and Tom to tell them they would be coming home a day early, but not to worry.

“Well, this is our last day here, what do you want to do?” Dom asked.

Matt grinned and said, “Let’s do Bloomingdale’s.”

******************

“Seriously, I didn’t think anyone would bother us,” Matt said, as he peeked out of the changing room.

“Are they gone yet?” Dom asked.

He suddenly ducked back inside.

“Nope, they don’t seem to be moving either,” he said.

He let out a startled squeak when Dom suddenly pulled him back down to the floor.

“Dom…what are…?”

He was silenced by Dom kissing him, and he didn’t mind.

Several minutes later they broke apart when a voice called out their names, and they had to make quick adjustments to mussed up clothing. 

But there was nothing that could be done about flushed faces or Matt’s unruly hair.

They ignored the strange look the in-store security person gave them, and were able to finish their shopping in peace as the store had given them a personal shopper for free as an apology.

They returned to their suite, had dinner and then retired to bed.

“Well, last night before we go back to good old Blighty,”Dom said as he slipped into bed next to Matt.

Matt inched over and grabbed Dom’s white t-shirt.

“What are you doing?” Dom said.

“Finishing what we started in those changing rooms.”

******************

“There they are,” Tom said and nudged Chris. “And they look happy.”

About time Chris thought; they’d been fighting like a couple for twenty years.

“How you doing, Bells?” he asked as he hugged him.

“I’m good,” Matt replied.

Chris put his hands on Matt’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

“You happy?”

He knew that Matt have never been able to lie to him, and he saw it in Matt’s eyes; they were sparkling.

“Yes, happy.”

“That’s brilliant,” he said, taking one of Matt’s bags.

He did notice that Matt was favouring his bad leg, but time in the gym would fix that. They were walking towards the car when Matt stopped.

“Matt, you okay?”

“A little light-headed,” he replied, then carried on walking.

They were nearly at the car when Matt started to say.

“I think I’m…”

He never finished the sentence and would have hit the floor if Chris hadn’t been quicker and caught him.

******************

“I want to go home,” Matt said once more.

“Matt, they want you to stay overnight,” Dom said.

Matt had been intractable since he’d come round. He’d refused to let the nurses take his temperature or his blood pressure, and almost growled at them when they finally managed to persuade him to let them take a blood sample.

He hadn’t been this bad in months, and it worried not just Dom.

“Like hell I am,” Matt replied, folding his arms and the stubborn look returning to his face.

“Matt, enough,” Dom said sharply, his patience wearing thin. His worry and fear on why Matt had passed out, and the return to this intractable state was making him frazzled.

Matt glared at him, then narrowed his eyes, and Dom knew what was coming next.

“Sod off then, I don’t need you here,” he snarled, turning his head away, and Dom knew he wouldn’t look at him again.

He sighed, knowing that Matt wasn’t being malicious, but knew that head to comply or things could only get worse.  
Tom and Chris were surprised to see him.

“Is he being difficult?” Chris asked.

“Difficult... you could say that. Thought it might be best to leave him on his own for a while.”

They sat in silence and watched the goings on in A&E, hoping Matt wasn’t giving the staff too much grief.

They all looked up when a nurse approached them…then they all stood when she asked.

“You’re with Mister Bellamy aren’t you?”

They nodded.

“Is Mister Bellamy sitting out here with you?”


	18. Chapter 18

Matt wandered down the corridor…why the hell couldn’t he find the way out. It wasn’t like he didn’t know his way round venues like this; although it didn’t look like most venues he’d been in.

All he wanted was the warmth of his bunk…once he found the bloody exit. He spotted a door, he might as well try it. There was a bar across it, so it was possibly a fire exit…still, it was a way outside.

He pushed on the bar and the cold air hit him as it opened; the sooner he found the tour bus the better. It seemed very quiet for backstage, where were the techies and the roadies…in fact, where were Chris and Dom.

And why wasn’t he sweating like the proverbial, he’d just come off stage...and why the hell did he have a headache?

“I think I need to sit down,” he said to himself.

He looked round, but there were no seats….he really needed to sit down. The floor was cold and when his back touched the wall, he   
shivered…he so wanted the warmth of his bunk.

******************

“Well he hasn’t left the hospital or the alarm on his wrist band would have gone off.”

Dom scowled, he hadn’t been happy when they had given Matt one of the tags they used for people who wandered off or tried to leave the ward when it wasn’t safe for them. But he could understand, if Matt had suffered another one of his ‘spells.’

“So, he’s somewhere in the hospital…that helps, this place is bloody huge. What if he’s have one of his episodes? He might not even think he’s in hospital,” Chris was saying. 

“The staff have been briefed on how to approach Mister Bellamy,” the hospital manger said. 

He’d been called in, no doubt to try and ‘manage’ the situation, or rather make sure they didn’t ‘sue the hospital’s arse’ for not checking on Matt for at least thirty minutes.

They were walking down a corridor when the radio crackled into life and the words they wanted hear came through.

“We’ve found him. Can you bring Mister Howard and Mister Wolstenholme to level two?”

Dom looked at Chris, why weren’t they taking Matt back to A&E?

He got his answer as they entered level two.

“Please come inside, Mister Bellamy.”

“Sod off, you don’t have a pass to be backstage. Leave now or I’ll call security.”

Oh no…it was happening again.

They stopped at an open fire exit…Matt was standing outside, arms crossed in that ‘I maybe short but don’t piss me off’ way.

“He’s refusing to come in,” the security man said.

“It’s okay, we’ll deal with it,” Dom said and stepped outside.

“Dom, call security, they don’t have passes,” Matt said.

S’alright, new crew, no passes yet.”

“Oh…oh, right. Why wasn’t I told?”

“Cause’ you wouldn’t remember anyway. It’s bloody cold out here, come inside.”

“Nah, I’m going back to the bus, when I can bloody find it. Wanna try and sleep off this headache.”

“Well, you’re going the wrong way.”

“I am? Could’ve sworn the bus was this way.”

“Nope, you know your sense of direction is shoddy. It’s this way.”

“Okay then,” Matt said and walked inside.

“We need to get him back to A&E,” the doctor that was with them said.

Chris nodded.

“Matt, Glen said we have to wait in the green room….something about the bus needing repairs. And you can get something for that headache.”

Matt nodded and followed them back to A&E. He jumped onto the bed and settled.

“This is a comfy couch, I’m going to take five. Wake me up when we’re ready to go.”

With that he closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

******************

“Does he have these episodes frequently?” the consultant in charge of A&E asked as he examined a sleeping Matt.

“Not since his operation,” Dom said.

And the loss of consciousness?”

Both Chris and Dom shook their heads.

“But the mood swings are still present?”

“Yeah, we’ve learnt how manage those, way before he had any damage,” Chris replied.

“I see he wasn’t prescribed anything to help with the mood swings?”

“He doesn’t like taking too many pills...they screw up his creativity.”

The consultant nodded, but they could see he wasn’t happy with that...tough.

“But he has been prescribed pain killers.”

“Yeah, for his headaches,” Dom said.

“I see the operation was to alleviate an arterial constriction… five months ago? The headaches shouldn’t really be a problem. Has he seen a specialist about that?”

“He’s was due to see him next week, just had some scans done. But we know if they don’t contact us then everything’s okay,” Dom said.

“Okay, but I’d still like to do a scan. I’d also like to keep him in for a couple of days, his blood pressure is a bit up and down.”

Movement from Matt stopped the conversation…and of course, he didn’t want to stay in hospital, but when he felt dizzy again, it was decided for him.

“I’ll bring you some stuff tomorrow,” Dom said and hugged him, receiving an unhappy whine in return.

“It’s just a couple of days, love,” Dom said. He smiled at the Bellamy pout he got in return for that statement.

The next day he returned with a mini ‘faff-bag’ with toiletries and some night wear. He was waylaid by a nurse and was told to wait for the doctor to speak to him.

“Mister Bellamy was quite agitated during the night. But this morning he was uncommunicative, didn’t even flinch when they took a blood sample. He hasn’t eaten anything either, and I’m concerned about his behaviour. I recommend that he stay for the rest of the week, a colleague from the Neuropsychiatry Department of the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery would like to assess him.”

Dom bristled at that, “Are you saying his problem is mental?”

“I’m not saying that, Mister Howard. Some conditions are caused by something medical, and I think that this is the case, but it’s not my field.”

Dom wasn’t happy but he nodded…now to explain to Matt.

Matt’s bed was next to the window, he was staring out of it, his back to the rest of the ward.

“Hey,” he said, but Matt ignored him. He moved round until he was facing him and sat on the bed.

Matt didn’t even register his presence, and a frisson of worry crept into his mind.

“Matt?” he said….still no response. 

He stood and put himself right in front of Matt and crouched down, so he was in direct eye-line with him.

“Matt?” he said and touched his knee.

This time Matt responded, but it was like he’d just realised he was there.

“Dom, I want to go home,” he said.

He hated the fact that he was going to disappoint him.

“Not yet.”

“Why are you making me stay here?”

Dom hated hearing those words, it hurt his heart.

“Because something’s not right, Matt. You had another episode yesterday and the doctor is worried about you.”

Matt said nothing to that and went back to looking out of the window.

“Matt, please, they tell me you haven’t eaten anything. If you don’t eat, you’ll have to stay longer.”

“I just want to go home, Dom…please.”

There was plaintive tone to his voice that Dom had never heard before and it cut him deeply when he said.

“I’m sorry…you can’t and they want you to stay longer.”

The look in Matt’s eyes nearly killed him and when Matt spoke it almost did.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t say that,” and there were tears in those blue orbs.

“Bells,” Dom said, hoping that nickname would show Matt that he did.

“I think you should go,” Matt said.

Dom shook his head.

“Just go,” Matt said again and turned his head away.

“Alright, just eat something. Me and Chris will come and see you tomorrow.”

Matt said nothing and went back to looking out of the window. Dom sighed…this wasn’t how he intended things to go after the weekend they had just had….life it seemed was being a bitch again.


	19. Chapter 19

Dom blinked awake at the sound of his phone ringing. He looked at the screen, he didn’t recognise the number, but in his sleep fogged state he answered it.

“Hello?”

“Dom, where are you?”

He was suddenly very awake.

“Matt?”

“You have to come and get me. They want to open my brain and stick a chip in it.”

Any sleep that was hiding left the building; this wasn’t one of Matt’s ‘episodes’, it sounded like a full blown hallucination…and how the hell had Matt gotten hold of phone. Oh god…please.

“Matt, are you still in the hospital?”

“Yeah, I’ve escaped the ward, nicked a mobile. Gotta go, I see annoyed person coming towards me.”

There was another voice.

“Please come back to the ward, Mathew.”

“Don’t think so…Dom, come and get me…please.”

Then there was the sound of a scuffle and then the voice of what was probably one of the staff.

“Mister Howard, I assume it was you he was calling.”

“Should I come in?”

“Best not, he’s quite distressed at the moment. But you’re welcome to come in early tomorrow and speak with the doctor.”

Dom thanked her and shut off his phone, but there was no way he was going to sleep.

Later that morning he called Chris, who sounded unhappy after he told him what had happened, and they met at the hospital entrance.

“This isn’t good, Dom. What if he’s…...?”

Dom put a hand up, “Don’t say it, let’s wait and see what the doctor says.”

********************

Matt woke but felt like he hadn’t slept; it was probably these damn hospital beds. His curtains were drawn round, which he didn’t appreciate. 

He was about to get up and open them, when they were parted and a gaggle of people stepped through.

Immediately his hackles raised; they screamed ‘shrinks.’

“Mister Bellamy, is it okay if we speak with you?”

He just raised an eyebrow…he really didn’t think so, no-one was going to be analysing him…but for some reason his mouth seemed to be running of its own accord.

He was starting to feel confused, they were asking him why he thought someone was going to do him harm….what the hell were they on about?

Eventually he snapped and told them where to go, the all but one of them left, but he ignored him; even when he started talking to him.

After a while he left as well, and he let out a sigh of relief. He was very tired and felt unwell, and all he wanted was to get out of here and into his own bed. He could hear voices outside the curtains, no doubt they were talking about him.

Where were his friends to defend him?

****************

“I’m sorry, but you want to do what?” Dom said.

“I’d like to transfer Matthew to our specialist clinic at the NHNN”

“You think he’s crazy,” he snapped.

“Mister Howard, I don’t think that. There are medical reasons that can cause symptoms similar to mental instability. We can do a more detailed examination within our clinic, and decide on a course of treatment. But he needs to be in an environment where he can be properly assessed. Now all we have to do is convince Matthew.”

*****************

“No, I want to go home.”

“Matt, they just want to run some tests.”

“Bullshit, they think I’m crazy. There’s a straightjacket with my name on it.”

“No, they think it’s something medical.”

“I can’t believe you’re falling for that.”

“Matt, this isn’t one of your dumb-ass conspiracies.”

“Dumb-ass….my dumb-ass conspiracies.”

Dom stopped himself from replying, he could see Matt was getting upset. He didn’t like the look Matt was giving him….it was that suspicious look he reserved for bureaucrats and management.

“They’ve got to you, both of you,” he said, his voice now very quiet.

“Dom, I think he’s gone again,” Chris said.

“What have they got on you, Dom? Did they use some bird to trap you, and I guess Chris, they threatened your kids.”

Matt shifted on the bed and began looking through the cupboards.

“What are you doing, Matt?” Dom asked.

“Looking for cameras and spy stuff.”

Dom looked at Chris and he saw the same sadness on his face….Matt, their Matt…his Matt needed help.

Matt didn’t even notice when Chris got up and Dom knew where he was going, and he hated what was coming next.

He turned away when Matt started begging him to stop what the doctor was doing. He couldn’t look when a male nurse had to hold him down, and didn’t turn until Matt’s pleas faded away as the sedative took hold.

**********************

The room that Matt had been transferred to was at least a private one; so there would be no pictures of Matt turning up on Twitter. Dom sat with him while Chris called everyone to update them. He just hoped they could keep it out of the press for as long as possible.

He closed his eyes, just a few minutes rest.

Matt had woken up only once, but he wasn’t really there, rambling on about something that happened way back in 2001. He was sleeping now, thank god, but Matt’s temperature had risen sharply, and the doctor was now leaning towards some kind of infection.

They were waiting for test results, including what would have been a very painful lumbar puncture if Matt had been awake. The ugly spectre of meningitis or sepsis loomed on the horizon.

A soft groan from Matt made Dom open his eyes. He was covered in sweat again.

He picked up a damp flannel and gently wiped the sweat away. He moved the sheet to wipe his arm and saw the dark rash; he pushed the call button.

The touch of the cool material seemed to rouse Matt and he opened his eyes, and Dom could see the confusion and fear in them.

“Dom, I don’t feel good.”

“Ssh, the nurse will be here in a minute.”

“No…going to…”

Dom quickly sat him up and grabbed one of the cardboard bowls on the small table. His own stomach turned as Matt retched, but brought nothing up.

The nurse appeared then, he showed her the rash that hadn’t been there a few hours ago and he could tell by her expression that this wasn’t good.

Then he became a bystander as Matt retched again and the nurse’s soft words instructing him to sit up and take deep breaths were the only sounds.

“Mister Howard, could you step outside,” she said after she’d paged for assistance. “The doctor will be here shortly.”

He didn’t want to but there really wasn’t room for himself and the other nurse that turned up with a trolley and what looked like ice packs. 

Then the doctor arrived and the door was shut.

Chris returned just as the doctor stepped out of the room and went to the desk.

“What’s happening?” Chris said.

“Matt’s not good,” he replied.

The doctor returned, “We’ve got his tests back…but I don’t need them, its sepsis. I’m starting a course of antibiotics straight away. But I have to warn you, this could have been developing for some time. The fever, nausea and rash are late stage symptoms.”

“Will he be okay?” Chris asked.

“I’ll be honest with you, this could either way. It all depends on how strong Matthew is and whether we gotten the antibiotics into him in time.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter in this story....next story soon and of course the path of love never runs smoothly.

“You should go home and get some sleep,” Chris said.

“No, I want to stay.”

“Dom, it won’t help Matt if you get sick, will it? Kelly is bringing Tom in, so we can get some rest.”

“But what if he needs me?”

“Dom, he’s half out of it with antibiotics, and the other half is fighting the infection. He probably doesn’t even know we’re here. Besides, you’ve been sitting here for four days straight.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Okay, but at least go and get something to eat. I’ll sit with him till Tom and Kelly arrive.”

Dom nodded.

“Be at least an hour.”

***********

Dom sat in the small brasserie instead of the main cafeteria, trying to get the appetite for the jacket potato in front of him. He reached into his pocket for his phone, but his hand found a plastic bag instead. He took it out; it contained the promise ring he’d given Matt.

They had removed it because the combination of drugs and sepsis had caused swelling. He couldn’t believe it was only five days ago that he was giving Matt the ring, hoping that he would accept it. He took it out of the bag and polished it on a sleeve; it would be going back on Matt’s finger, and he would be keeping the promises that he’d made.

“You shouldn’t let that get cold.”

He looked up and saw that it was Kelly.

“You should eat something,” she said as she sat down.

“Don’t think I can, Kells,” he replied.

“Dom, not eating won’t help Matt get better, you being there will. So, eat that,” she said and took the ring out of his hand and produced a ring box, and placed it inside.

“Nicer than a plastic bag. Listen Dom, Matt’s a tough little cookie. Hell, he’s survived the sea, amnesia and brain surgery.”

“But this is sepsis, Kelly, it’s a killer. He wasn’t exactly in the best of health before this.”

“Don’t think like that. You two have just got together, and I don’t think he’s going to give that up, and neither should you. That ring is going back on his finger, plus it’ll make those belldom fans go crazy…most of your fans come to think of it. So, eat that and then go sit with your man.”

“Kelly?”

“Yes.”

“What if he doesn’t make it this time? He’s dodged the bullet twice this year. He can’t be third time lucky…can he?”

Kelly sighed, “Do you remember when Chris quit drinking?”

Dom nodded.

“And when at six months in he found it really tough?”

“Yeah, he was tempted to start again.”

“Well, that man up there was like a little terrier, he worried him into keeping going. Followed him everywhere, three days straight he did that, it kept Chris on the path. Now you have to be that for him, keep him going.”

Dom smiled and pushed the food away, “I’m going back upstairs.”

“I’m coming too, I want to see him.”

They met Chris and Tom who were coming back with coffee. They walked into the room to find Matt was awake.

Dom went straight over, ignoring the nurse that was taking his vitals.

“Matt?”

“He’s awake, but still not with us,” the nurse said. “But you can still talk to him, he’ll still hear you.”

“We’ll go,” Tom said. “Call us if you need us."

Dom nodded and pulled the chair closer to the bed. He took Matt’s hand, trying not to see the dark rash.

“You know, you can’t sleep with your eyes open...idiot, and hospital gown green really doesn’t suit you.”

“His temperature is down another degree. That’s a good sign,” the nurse said

“So why is he still out of it?”

“The antibiotics are really strong, they can knock someone for six.”

Dom gave her a small smile, the returned to watching Matt, who had closed his eyes again.

He closed his own, he was more emotionally tired that physically, but he was soon asleep. 

Eventually he was forced to go home by one of the doctors, with assurances that he would be called if anything untoward happened. He texted Chris and Tom to let them know and then proceeded to sleep for twelve hours straight.

He finally showered and changed into clean clothes before rushing out of the house and back to the hospital. He found Tom sitting outside Matt’s room.

Tom must have seen the worry on his face because he said, “Matt woke up about an hour ago and they’ve taken him down for a scan and some tests. Something about checking for damage internally.”

“And I wasn’t here…dammit, why didn’t they call me?”

“Because you need sleep. I’m going to get a coffee, you want one?”

He nodded and watched Tom walk away.

Internal damage…bloody hell…that could mean his heart, lungs, kidneys…hell, anything internal was bad.

“Listen,” he said out loud, “I don’t believe in a god as such, but isn’t it about time you cut him some slack. Oh, I know he doesn’t believe in you either, but he’s not a bad person, and if you exist, you should know that. So, be nice, yeah. I’ve wasted twenty years not telling him I love him, and I really don’t want to have to wait for the next life to tell him. So, just give me the Matt that I’ve got now…please.”

***********************

“Matthew, this will feel a little warm, okay.”

Okay, if you say so…oh, wow, that’s warm, but a little weird, cause’ it’s starting at my toes, nice though. Hey this thing sounds like a spaceship…cool. Okay, now that warm feeling is way past my navel, and now we’re taking off, and ooh, those spinning flashy lights are nice.

The table he was laying on began to move, and for some reason the Thunderbirds theme tune popped into his head

“You okay there, Matthew?”

He wanted to say yes, and could the captain take a small diversion via Mars, but he found his throat was way too dry and sore.

“Let’s get you out of the scanner and I’ll get you some water.”

The wheelchair was infinitely more comfortable that the scanner and he gratefully drank the water.

“Thank you,” he said.

He looked down at his hands when one of them itched and saw a cannula and a fading dark rash.

“Was I sick?” he asked the nurse that was reattaching an IV bag.

“You don’t remember?”

He shook his head.

“You had sepsis…still do, but the antibiotics are doing their job.”

“Was it bad?”

“You had a fever and at the height of it you called one of the senior consultants a puppet of the Illuminati.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, apparently his face was quite a picture. Let’s get you back upstairs, you need to rest.”

He smiled when he saw Dom and Tom sitting outside his room.

“Gives a few minutes,” the nurse said.

He let out a yelp when he back twinged as he settled back into the bed.

“Sorry, they did a lumbar puncture,” the nurse said as she straightened the sheets. “You need anything, use the call button.”

“Thank you,” he said again, then smiled when Dom and Tom walked in.

“You look like crap,” Tom said, a wide grin on his face.

“Thanks,” he replied, smiling back to show he wasn’t offended.

“Well. I’m off to answer the myriad tweets asking about you. Collapsing in a public car park way too much of a soap drama for my liking,” Tom said.

Dom moved and sat on the bed and said, “It got pretty insane there for a while.”

“So the nurse told me…bloody hell, I must have been right off my rocker.”

“Just a little bit,” Dom replied, then took his hand.

***************

They spent the rest of their time alone talking about complete and utter nonsense, Dom laughed at Matt’s idea of recording the sound of the MRI scanner and using it on a track.

“Yeah, I could be Scott Tracey, you could be Alan Tracey, Chris could be Virgil Tracey and Tom could only be Brains,” Matt enthused.

Dom was just glad to see him awake and with some of the sparkle back in his eyes; he never wanted to see him looking as sick as he had been again.

They were interrupted by the doctor, who gave them the good news that his scan was clear and the blood test showed that the sepsis was nearly clear and that he could go home one it had cleared completely.

The next few days seemed to drag but eventually Matt was discharged.

Now he was sitting in his own living room, being fussed over by Kelly and an assortment of her female friends.

He was still exhausted but he was enjoying the attention, and he had to wade his way through the bags of mail and hundreds of e-mails that Tom had gathered in the last few weeks.

“Dear Matthew….I’m glad that you’re okay now…please don’t be ill again, cause’ us Musers would miss you, and we’re looking forward to the tour.”

“Nice,” Dom said and put the message on the read pile.

“Oh look, another toy sheep,” Matt said and placed it with a growing number of other woolly friends.

“You’ll have another flock soon,” Dom said.

“Yeah,” he replied, then yawned.

“Enough for now, I think,” Dom said. “You should get some rest.”

“Don’t wanna go to bed,” he whined.

“And that tells me you should, but I suppose you can sleep on the couch.”

Dom got up from the floor and sat next to him and he laid his head on Dom’s lap, pulling the blanket over himself.

He stared up into Dom’s eyes and frowned when he saw tears.

“Dom?”

Dom blinked and let out a long breath.

“I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Never,” he replied and propped himself up with his elbows and kissed Dom. “You’ll never lose me.”

Dom smiled and Matt wiped away a stray tear, the promise ring now back on his finger shining in the sunlight that streamed through the window. Dom started running his hands through Matt’s hair, that was now an odd mix of red and his natural brown.

Matt sighed and looked Dom in the eyes again.

“Dom…..would you have waited for me, like I asked?”

Dom stayed his hand but only for a moment.

“I would have waited a thousand years,” he said softly.

Matt closed his eyes and let the rhythmic motion of Dom’s hand through his hair lull him into sleep, knowing that the person he loved would be waiting for him when he woke up.


End file.
